There is a chart that can be found across the internet, based on Dr. David Hawkins work, which assigns a numeric value to all of our emotions. The Levels of Consciousness chart. They developed the numbers via kinesiology or muscle testing.
Now in the Law of Attraction, we learn that like attracts like. In other words, a high energy frequency attracts a high energy frequency and a low attracts a low.
I was thinking about past relationships and arguments or bad moments that I've had and suddenly I could actually visualize exactly what had happened using The Levels of Consciousness Chart.
Joy is at 540 on that chart and Love is at 500. Lets call the combination of those two "Happiness" and rather than a numeric value, let's give it a color. Red. Fear is at 100 on the chart and Desire is at 125. Let's call the combination of those two "Getting Your Self Worth from Others" and give it the color blue. Anger is at 150. Let's give it the color purple.
In the scenario I was thinking about, a friend and I were together. Laughing and having a good time. If you could see each of us as glowing in our level of consciousness colors, I'm sure we both would have been red. Keep in mind, like attracts like. We're both happy and we are supporting each other at that energy level. Maintaining it by attracting it back and forth. I drift out of the moment. Something happens that makes me think of the past or triggers my lack of self worth and I begin talking to my friend, not from our red place of "Happiness," but from my blue place of "Getting Your Self Worth From Others."
Like attracts like. In this situation, a few things can happen depending on my companion's resilience levels and skills at resisting others negative emotions.
Because that's what I've done. I've introduced negativity into the room. I've done it innocently enough. I have left the present moment and my ego is running my "Getting Your Self Worth From Others" program. It actually represents me, slipping from "Happiness" and attempting to reestablish myself there. I suddenly feel bad and I'm attempting to feel better.
It can never happen. It is the equivalent of trying to make a dish less salty by adding more salt.
I've introduced negativity into the room and I've broken our attraction. If my friend is very resilient and has very good skills at resisting, he or she will probably excuse him or herself from the equation and leave the room. If my friend is very patient and empathetic, he or she might cajole me back to "Happiness," but I could just as easily drag my friend down.
Downward emotional stations from "Happiness" or Joy and Love on The Levels of Consciousness Chart would be Reason, Acceptance, Willingness, Neutrality, Courage, Pride, Anger, and finally, Desire and Fear or "Getting Your Self Worth From Others." Some of those may not sound all that bad, but keep in mind they are lower than "Happiness." In terms of emotional pain or discomfort, lower energy levels don't feel as good as higher ones. If my friend is very susceptible to negative emotions, I may even drag him or her lower to Grief, Apathy, Guilt or Shame. In the scenario I was thinking about, I dragged my friend to anger and we had an argument. I converted us to colors rather than numbers because I think it is a good visual representation. My friend was red. I was blue. He or she took on a bit of my blue and became purple. Angry.
Now consider this. You've had a bad day at work. You come home and your loved ones, your family, are all laughing and having a good time. They are buzzing along, red and in the 500's and you inject yourself into them, gruff and complaining, somewhere under 200. The very best you can hope for is that they will draw you up to their level, but you are running the risk of dragging them down. You are making yourself a burden. It is as if your entire family was required to carry a certain amount of weight and, instead of carrying yours, you redistribute it among the rest of your family. I'd like to think you'd never do that. I'd like to think that you would rather take on some of your loved one's burdens than willingly place yours upon their backs.
There is a popular self help meme across the internet.
"Never put the keys to your happiness in someone's pocket."
We tend to look at that from a very self centered viewpoint. I want to be happy and I can't depend on anyone else to make me happy.
1. You can't "make" anyone do anything. Just as no one can "make" you do anything. In reality, when someone else has done something and you respond by being happy. It was your choice to respond in that way. Understanding this means understanding you also have the potential to choose to be happy at any time you like. No matter what circumstances are unfolding around you.
2. Your moods and your life are your own responsibility. No one else's. One of the reasons you can't put the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket is because they are responsible for their own happiness. No one can be or should be burdened with your happiness as well as their own.
There are actually a lot of things you can do. Consider my example. I said "I drift out of the moment." By that I mean, I drift out of the present moment. Instead of being present and actively interacting with my friend, I have allowed my mind to drift. Probably to the past since what it netted was insecurity and negativity. Whatever things happened to you at work, they are not present with you when you arrive home with your family. They can only be there, if you drag them there. One thing you could do is meditate and cultivate practices that enable you to be more present. You could work to make yourself more resilient and resistant. You could do this by exploring your emotions, understanding why you feel like you feel and make peace with your demons from the past. Or you could consider the possibility that, in order to feel happy, we must think happy thoughts and consciously decide to be happy.
One of the quickest routes to being happy? Do something nice for someone else. You can't "make" them happy, but you just might "make" yourself happy in the process.