Tuesday, March 17, 2015

How Different Would Your Life Be?

If you could tell yourself with confidence that everything always works out for the best?  How different would it be if you never saw any event as a failure, but rather simply a surprising turn of events that apparently needed to happen, even if it was unclear at the time?  What if you saw the universe as always looking out for you and nudging you to better places?

I think you would feel safe.  I think you would feel loved.  I think you would be optimistic, perhaps even confident.

You can, you know.  You can tell yourself that.  We build our worlds out of what we tell ourselves.  To benefit from this point you have to be capable of two things.  First, to be your own advocate.  You have to want to win as well as want yourself to have the victory.  Second, you have to want the victory badly enough you are willing to work for it.  Willing to change.

I've been actively telling myself things always work out for the best for about a year or so now.  Last weekend, I lost a filling.  It was so unexpected, so out of the blue, that I couldn't help but wonder what was up.  Why is this happening?  Or what will come from this?  Even as I did, I was aware and grateful that I didn't feel any pain.  Far from being at any complaining place about the situation, I was keenly aware I was getting off easy.  Thinking of conversations I've had with people who have witnessed the synchronicity of sudden change, I wondered if I would run into someone at the dentist's office.  I wondered if I would end up with a new filling that was in some way superior to the one I had lost.  That's what it turned out to be.  At the end of my appointment, the dentist and his assistant had the most amazing conversation about my new filling.  Apparently they had tried out a new product with my filling.

"I really like that color.  It's almost a perfect match."

It had this odd sensation of being talked about, in front of me, but in an approving manner.  Or even more, a sort of I was there and my mouth got a filling, but other than that, it had nothing to do with me.  They were talking about the materials as well as their own performance.  My filling was work that made them proud.  It was like listening to dentist geeks at a dentist convention.  I lost a filling and gained a better one.  I suspect a much better one.

It wouldn't have played that way a few years ago.  First, I would have obsessed about the loss.  I lost the filling on the weekend.  Every moment from then on would have been filled with awareness and worry about the lost filling.  It didn't hurt, but I would touch it over and over again with my tongue to make sure it still didn't hurt.  It was almost like I felt I would forget I had lost a filling right at some critical moment so I had to remind myself repeatedly.  Then after worrying myself out of any sleep, as I called about an appointment, I would dwell on how inconvenient it was.  Complain about how I would have to go to the dentist.  If I told anyone, it would be framed as things I was "made" to do.  While not being out of the realm of possibility, I certainly wouldn't notice it if the dentist and his assistant talked about my filling in that scenario.  I would only hear words at a negative frequency, mirroring my own emotions.

How different would your life be if you could tell yourself with confidence that everything works out for the best?  Give it a try.  I've found mine to be filled with delightful surprises.

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