Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Law of Attraction and Attachment

I fell in love with reading at the age of six and by the sixth grade, I wanted to be a writer.  When I begin to read a fresh book, I feel this intoxicating combination of well being and anticipation.  I'm not sure if what I wanted in the beginning was the ability to have that feeling available on demand by simply writing it into existence or I simply loved the sound and flavor of words and the combination of them as they trickled out of my mind and onto a page.  Whatever reason brought me to the craft, I have discovered I have some degree of talent in it, but my real strength seems to lie in my ability to set aside worries about making a fool of myself and being able to share the honest, dirty details of what it is like to be me.  Because whatever feelings I have when I am going through one of life's challenges, chances are you have felt it too.

2014 was going to be "our year."  I believed it was going to be the year when I came "home" to my soul mate and love of my life.  I thought I had found my family, the ones I had always dreamt about and wanted, in his family.  That imploded in July of 2013 on a sad beach in Northern New Zealand where we both slipped, weren't our best selves, and never recovered.  Officially, we are no longer friends.  I still cry about it.  Yet, I know that break up was one of the best things to ever happen to me.  It changed my life.

I had known about the Law of Attraction before the relationship.  In fact, I thought I had "manifested" the relationship through a Vision Board.  You see, the first item I had put on the Vision Board was that I would like to take a trip to New Zealand in a manner that would make the very long and expensive flight seem manageable and comfortable.  By the time I had fallen in love with him, I knew he was from New Zealand, but we had talked for months on the internet before I noticed his location and simply felt sad that I would probably never get to meet him in person.  I can't imagine anyone feeling more like Cinderella than I did when I took that first plane ride in 2012.  Prior to that, I had manifested a cat.

For years I had admired a picture I had taped in a notebook of a man with a cat lovingly rubbing him under his chin.  The cat was rubbing the man's chin, not the other way around.  So when I adopted a stray neighborhood cat and he rubbed my chin, I could have chalked it up to coincidence, but instead I got goosebumps and realized my cat had come home.  The same way I felt standing on Auckland's Mt. Eden with the man I loved.  The man I felt sure was my soul mate.  Turns out, he probably was.  They just aren't always as fun as Disney would lead you to believe.  At our best, mine made me feel the most loved I had ever felt in my life.  At our worst, mine became a mirror where I could see all the worst and best of me and sent me to a place where I could no longer be complacent about a life where I was essentially boxed in by my limiting beliefs and my past.

Have you noticed?  While staying at a friend's house, particularly one you are in love with, presents possibly the most comfortable foreign travel experience you can have, my vision board did not mention a man, a lover, a soul mate or a relationship.  It mentioned a trip to New Zealand.  I got one.  The best one I could possibly have.

Before the Law of Attraction, I had heard about Creative Visualization from my father.  You see, when I was ten years old and my dad needed to pay off my parents' mortgage, his uncle died.  I had never met the uncle, but he had left my dad a portion of the proceeds from the sale of his ranch.  Apparently before he had a ranch, my great uncle had visualized the one he wanted in great detail.  He even constructed a scale model.  When my father first visited the ranch, he was stunned by how close the likeness between the model and the reality was.

That's how we tend to think the Law of Attraction will be.  As if we are Captain Kirk on the Starship Enterprise and we simply need to the tell the replicator what we want.  In my experience it doesn't work that way.  In fact, I'm certain that, even though my great uncle's experience does look that way, there is a lot more to the story that we don't know.  Things he didn't ask for, standing right alongside those that he did, but I'm equally certain he ended up grateful for both.

I sold that house my father paid off with his inheritance this year.  When it first went on the market, I was Law of Attraction-ing all over it.  In a short time, I had three offers.  One was over asking.

"It works!  It works!  It works!"

Then the sale fell through.  In a rather ugly way too.  But in a short time I got another offer.  Which fell through in an even shorter amount of time than the first one.  I went to the third meeting to receive offers trying not to feel anything.  It turned out the house sold to the buyer from the very first offer.  A little time had passed.  I know the terms this time ended up a little more advantageous for me and I am confident they did for the buyer as well.  I'm not sure in what way or how, but I'm certain they did.  Because that is the way the Law of Attraction works.  In my experience, it may not give you the carbon copy of what you wanted, but it will deliver a mixture of exactly what you wanted wrapped up in exactly what you needed.

There are five steps to take in the Law of Attraction.  First, you have to be very very clear about what you don't want.  Second, of course, you have to be equally as clear about what you do want.  For most people, I suspect those are the only two steps they take.  Step three is to identify whatever limiting beliefs you have that are getting in the way of you having whatever it is in the first place.

That trip to New Zealand?  When I said comfortable, all I had been imagining was flying Business Class, which for the record, I did.  The Law of Attraction upgraded my ticket.  Remember the cat I manifested?  I can recognize now that what I was really wishing for was love.  It turns out I had an enormous amount of energy and hideous beliefs about the subject of love and worthiness.  In a way, I always knew it.  At the same time, it took two trips to New Zealand and a horrendous break up to shine a light on it.

In step three, you aren't just supposed to identify those limiting beliefs.  You are supposed to "clear" on them.  They are sneaky little gremlins who patrol your subconscious and prevent you from having the life of your dreams.  Shining a light on them.  Becoming aware of them.  Performing little prayers or rituals about them.  Letting go of them.  In other words, "clearing" on them, diminishes their power over you.  You see another reason you don't get the "replicator" version of the Law of Attraction is because, all of those things you have limiting beliefs about?  You probably don't just want them.  You believe you need them.  You believe they are the difference between you having a successful and happy life or not.  The Law of Attraction essentially delivers "you" back to you.  So if you need them with the sting of desperation, in my experience, it delivers opportunities to learn the lessons you needed to learn in order to slay the limiting beliefs you failed to abolish earlier.  I gave a lot of positivity on a cat and a trip to New Zealand along with a whole lot of energy about love.  I received a cat, a trip to New Zealand and a whole lot of love and energy about love.

It would be wrong if I didn't tell you what steps four and five are.  The fourth thing is that you need to act as if it has already happened.  Joe Vitale calls it "Nevillization," in honor of Neville Goddard.  You get what you give, right?  The more you can summon up the emotion and energy that you already have what you want, the more it will be returned to you.  The fifth thing is to let it go.  That doesn't mean stop wanting it.  It doesn't mean stop thinking about it.  It means to let go of any attachment to how it will be delivered to you and in what time frame.  Remember, the sale of my parents' house was more beneficial to me at a later time than I originally wanted.  Remember, my version of comfortable was a better reclining seat.  The Law of Attraction's version of comfortable was a man and his family who treated me kindly and showed me love.

Let go of your attachment to the outcome.  You may be in for a bumpy ride while you learn a few lessons about your own demons if you haven't cleared enough, but in the long run, you will be rewarded with better things than you wished for in the first place.

It turns out 2014 is "my" year.  I come "home" to the house and life I am building to my heart's specifications.  I even come home to the "love of my life."  After all, don't they say that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else?  Down the road, I wouldn't mind going another round or two with a soul mate.  In fact, I'd be delighted.  While it is good, it is wonderful and if it should go sour once again, the bi-products hurt like hell, but they are the best gifts you can ever receive and you get to keep them forever.

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