tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35899593939466280972024-03-12T22:22:13.269-07:00My Journey to "Zero" and The Law of AttractionA esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-4347088480277482042015-09-15T09:48:00.002-07:002015-09-15T09:48:59.701-07:00Law of Attraction #9 - I am Convinced I am convinced we are all stumbling about in the darkness. The only difference is some of us are in a funhouse, bumping into each other and joyfully laughing, while others of us fear falling and being trampled. <br />
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I am convinced each of us is one seemingly miraculous event away from knowing our true nature.<br />
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I am convinced both the apparently good and the seemingly evil among us have good intentions and what truly separates us are the degrees of our fear and desperation. <br />
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I am convinced I can do nothing wrong because in life with every choice I will either find joy or a lesson. <br />
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I am convinced I don't need to be anything other than who I naturally am.<br />
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I am convinced the things I enjoy doing are never a waste of time and, truthfully, are my natural calling. <br />
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I am convinced I do not need to seek out love, I am love.<br />
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I am convinced we each have our own slices of heaven here on earth. Mine are the sound of crickets outside at night, a cat purring next to my ear, or the leaves being shifted lightly by a gentle breeze.<br />
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I am convinced, no matter how it looks, we are always getting it right and can never get it wrong.<br />
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I am convinced every time we express the words "I don't like" we have stumbled on a bit of resistance.*<br />
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I am convinced the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.<br />
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I am just about 1/4 of the way through my 99 videos in 99 days challenge. Increasingly, I am finding that whatever it is that drives me to communicate with others is becoming happier with the video format than the blog format. At least in this moment. If you would like to engage in a dialogue with me or have any suggestions as to subject matter, feel free to contact me at angieceable@gmail.com .</div>
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Today's video:</div>
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<a href="https://youtu.be/R2Koju5dplE" target="_blank">#25 of 99 videos in 99 days </a></div>
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* (with the possible exceptions of liver & sauerkraut)</div>
A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-28071097139002969302015-09-08T07:08:00.000-07:002015-09-08T07:08:21.021-07:00Law of Attraction #8 - A Bigger Picture?I have wanted to write since I was roughly 11 years old. I should be saying I have been writing since I was roughly 11 years old, but the truth is I haven't. Not consistently. Sometimes I was more drawn to photography. Sometimes it is as if I lay dormant. Honestly, a lot of the time that is what my writing feels like. Dormant. I almost feel shame to say it, but ideas do not come easily to me. <br />
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Which is hilarious! Because ideas DO come easily to me. One of my favorite things to do with friends is talk about all sorts of philosophical ideas. In other words, we pick a topic and see just how hot the air in this room can get! That can't be your favorite parlor game without having some ideas! I have never been good at adapting my thinking to subjects and plots. <br />
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Photography has almost no thinking at all. What I mean is, for me, it is not a form of intellectual expression. Oh sure, I had some photo projects in school that were more about concept than photo and were quite mind driven, but my photography, the stuff that excites me, is about emotional expression. So it is easy to get into the <i>"flow" </i>or "<i>vortex"</i> or no-mind oneness (depending on whose dictionary you're going by) in photography. It hasn't been with writing anywhere near as often. <br />
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I do believe we each have one gift. A talent at something. Maybe like writing or maybe in temperament or strength? The things that get under your skin and course through your blood like writing and photography do for me are clues. I think that's why you see books over the years with titles that tell you <i>"Do What You Love and The Money Will Follow."</i><br />
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How many times do I have to hear that before I surrender to it? I'm a great cheerleader to it, but in practice it's like trying to fall asleep and being startled awake. Over and over again. It always feels like I hedge my bet and doing that is saying I might lose or I might be wrong. <br />
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Wait a minute. Here's the thing. That's sounding like I expect some sort of reward for what I'm doing. Of course I would want that, but that isn't my focus or what I am saying. I mean simply that to write something implies one has a reader. I've never expected to have a reader. <br />
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Recently I fell in love. Loved and lost. Ah well, happens to nearly all of us at some point. I think a heretofore unnoticed gift he gave me is the knowledge I had a reader. He was the first person in the world who I had the honor of speaking with who had read some of my writing before we had actually ever spoken to each other. I know he read some of my writing. I know he could hear my voice. I know he enjoyed some of it. If we were on speaking terms, I'd thank him for some of the wonderful gifts I received. Ah life. <br />
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Maybe that's why lately I have gotten into the "<i>flow"</i> in some of my writing. Here on this blog. I've even been there twice on those 99 videos in 99 days. <br />
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I've always thought in the end it would be fiction. I'd finally get an idea, squeak out a novel and then probably croak. Now I wonder. It really seems like my trajectory is aimed more at engaging in an intellectual parlor game with whoever wants to read it on the internet. Not sure how the money would follow from that, but it certainly would be lovely because I am having a good time and this might just be love. A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-50374547417651195292015-09-01T19:46:00.000-07:002015-09-01T19:46:12.792-07:00Law of Attraction #7 - Communicating<br />
I've continued on with the 99 videos in 99 days challenge. Here are the links for the additional videos since my last blog entry.<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/-Y_VyHI4uo8" target="_blank">Video #5</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/5zJM6PVNduM" target="_blank">Video #6</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/wCEnvMD6IFU" target="_blank">Video #7</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/0ePrIDBWV8I" target="_blank">Video #8</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/eylId8zKra8" target="_blank">Video #9</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/gUSCh8KdTxA" target="_blank">Video #10</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/vDuavjBzoDk" target="_blank">Video #11</a><br />
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From what I've learned about the Law of Attraction recently listening to Abraham-Hicks, I am supposed to follow the path of least resistance and always strive to feel the best I possibly can in the moment. On the one hand I have no idea what I'm doing, but on the other, it is flowing effortlessly and I'm having a good time. <br />
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My parents used to tell a story. When I was two, there was a large storm where we lived and the tree in front of our house was knocked down. Apparently I really found that to be a shock. For days I would tell anyone and everyone who would listen. "<i>Tree broke." </i>Since I don't remember it first hand, I'm not sure if I was trying to warn the world that trees could break or simply reveling in the joy of <i>"did you see that?"</i> Clearly I had an urge to communicate.<br />
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I still do. <br />
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I'm really enjoying the spontaneity and brevity of the videos. I get an idea, grab my iPhone, turn the camera on video mode, and start talking. It feels easier than writing the little I've already written here. Miraculously too, for the first time in my life I look at my image in the video and feel rather neutral. <br />
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The glasses probably help. Smooth out the rough edges I would pick at. They were prescribed to me in August. It is hard to force myself to wear them. Unless I am shooting one of those videos. <br />
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It's interesting. I suppose I am acknowledging there is a possibility I might end my blog and just create videos. Too soon to tell, but not impossible. Amazing when I consider this is emerging from what was pretty much a whim. <i>My friend Gary is having problems keeping with up with his video challenge, perhaps if I do it with him?</i> <br />
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Except that's what I think they mean about inspired action and the Law of Attraction. Sudden ideas to do things you might not have otherwise thought to do. Inspired actions that feel pleasurable when you do them. The combination persuades me I am right where I am supposed to be. <br />
<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-74749294678248169402015-08-25T15:15:00.000-07:002015-08-25T17:37:39.568-07:00Law of Attraction #6 - Knowing Yourself I've been shooting some videos this week. Four of them so far. Here are the links:<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/RrgY2zJUbdo" target="_blank">Video #1</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/OHtpQ5dbsA0" target="_blank">Video #2</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/31oCwjILTWc" target="_blank">Video #3</a><br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/5BWtsihmVvs" target="_blank">Video #4</a><br />
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The videos are due to two different inspirations. First, Gary Jackman, a friend who went through the same coaching training program as I did, has been doing a 99 videos in 99 days challenge and I decided to give it a try to support him. At the same time, I recently watched Netflix's <i>Grace and Frankie, </i>starring Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda. In a few of the episodes, Frankie (Tomlin) clips her iPhone down and videos herself talking about whatever is going on at the moment. By the end of the first season, Grace (Fonda) has taken a turn herself and had what I would call, a very nice epiphany about who she is and what she wants out of life.<br />
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As I explain in video #3, I have been active in self development since roughly 2000. For my own benefit. Long story short, I didn't like my life. I decided to change it. As a result I am now in this very interesting place. First, of course I am interested in sharing the things I have learned with other people. Second, it has delivered me to a place where I am learning who I am.<br />
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You know that lifetime you've spent making note of everything from brussels sprouts to mean people that you don't like? I'm not looking for my "no's" anymore. From the moment we first get hurt in life, we seem to want to create a list of things we'd rather avoid. <br />
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Did you know that, emotionally, excitement and fear stand right next to each other and it can be indiscernible which one you are actually experiencing? At the bottom of the pit of the life I wanted to change, I lost driving into San Francisco and many amusement park rides because I was avoiding that uncertain, unsettling feeling by just saying <i>"no." </i>I've already said no. A lot. I'm interested in all of my <i>"yes's." </i>I'm actually creating a list of things I consider to be quintessential Angela. <br />
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Of course, I do have one no in the bunch. It turns out, after a lifetime of not having lobster because I wanted to spare whoever was paying for my dinner that price, I'm not a big fan. When I finally had it because I was paying myself, I would have preferred the lamb I normally would have ordered. <br />
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At the same time, it gave me a small epiphany. I live for the small epiphanies. It is from the small epiphanies that I have become the changed version of Angela I enjoy today. <br />
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Essentially there is an imaginary list of myriad things we can enjoy if we are rich and powerful. We assume if we had those things, we would be happy. You know why money doesn't buy happiness? Because so many of us don't really know who we are or what we really want. Instead we have a grievance list of all the things that taste bad and the things or people we've encountered who suck. <br />
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One of the things I've learned along the way is if you simply focus on what makes you happy, you feel happier. If you focus on the good, feeling good is like shooting fish in a barrel. It is a done deal. <br />
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In addition to our list, we tend to have a bias not to change. At some point along the way, we hurt ourselves and we blamed change. "<i>Why does everything have to change?"</i> We moan. <i>"Why can't everything stay the same?"</i> We seem to feel that way even when everything isn't so great just because we are afraid of things becoming even worse. We live our lives boxed in by our fears. <br />
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Which is not to say I never feel afraid anymore. Of course I do. I am an adult, now orphaned, unmarried only child who never had any children of her own. I am the quintessential<i> "the cheese stands alone." </i> If I let my fears run loose, my mind could come up with a lot of sad horror stories out of that. But, if I did that, I would be sad and afraid not happy like I am now. After all, I've been an only child my entire life. It is only as an adult when I began to consider what I should be doing or who should be in my life that I felt any fear about being alone. Every one of those should(s) practically leapt off that list of things I don't want. Every one of those should(s) was considered to protect me. Between my parents over protecting me and me over protecting me, it's a wonder I've ever had a chance to live at all. <br />
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I want to live. I want to throw my arms around life and bury my face in her fur. You can't do that if the thought of it makes you timid and afraid you might not like it. From what I've learned, better to shrug off life's icky parts and devote your attention to savoring life's wonderful pleasures instead. Leave those dishes dirty in the sink and spend an extra ten minutes watching that sunset. Sure the dishes will still be there. Sure they might begin to stink. And sure that time spent watching a beautiful sunset will simply be wasted if all you do while you finally wash those dishes is complain and say you SHOULD have washed them earlier. So don't do that. Instead, remind yourself with each and every dish just how beautiful that moment was. Don't regret your joyful moments simply because of a nuisance of inconvenience. <br />
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And stop looking to be offended by everything all the time. Looking to be happy = happy. Looking to be offended = offended. <br />
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You've heard the saying, of course, <i>"It is always in the last place you look?" </i>Have you ever thought, <i>"Of course it is because you STOP looking!" </i> Life is exactly the same way. What you look for, you will see. Every time. Isn't it time you start building yourself a better world? <br />
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-21492587366545091262015-08-18T03:00:00.000-07:002015-08-25T17:39:02.083-07:00Law of Attraction #5 - Letting Go Today is my day off and I am spending it in the company of Peabody and Sherman for the first time in awhile. To me, it is like they are constantly fussing with each other. Play fighting. Or fight playing. As I sit here at the computer, I can hear them rolling about until eventually someone growls or hisses. And I intervene. Just a moment ago I segregated them. Had a heart to heart with Peabody and heard myself saying:<br />
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<i>"Is this how the two of you behave while I'm at work?"</i></div>
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Hey wait a minute.</div>
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I opened the door to the bedroom. Sure enough Sherman was waiting on the other side looking quizzical as to why he had been shut out in the first place. Even if I could tell him, in a way he could understand, <i>"I was separating you to protect you." </i>If he didn't give me the <i>"what is wrong with girls' </i>look,<i> </i>he would give me the <i>"poor silly humans" </i>look. (At least in my imagination.) Because the truth is, he and Peabody are friends. They probably play like that EVERY day. It is probably the reason I find them both passed out asleep on my bed when I come home. </div>
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It is interesting having a three-legged cat. It is changing my perceptions. </div>
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Fairly early on, my house fell into a flea problem. It is an enormous story. Full of Law of Attraction moments and significance, but to get to where we need to be, I will need to fast forward. I have acquired medicine and put it on his neck. My awkwardness and newness at holding him in my arms has positioned it a little too far back on his shoulder blades and he is fussing with it. He is in constant motion. Kicking, scratching and biting at fleas. Worse than before the medicine went on. Amazingly, I can see fleas dropping off him. I have never seen that before with the other cats. He arches his head around and successfully licks the poisonous spot! Immediately the wetness at the surface of his mouth becomes foamy.</div>
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Shit!</div>
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I wet a towel and blot at his mouth. Then I clean off the poison spot with the wet towel and wait and watch. He seems better. Still itchy, but in less distress. I think of the fleas dropping off him. I remember I have seen that before. Years ago when I had my cat Bocce who was the only cat I bathed regularly. He was also the only cat who, when I bathed him, had brown water run off him. Brown water and occasionally fleas. I can't find my flea comb to selectively drown them, but if I give Sherman a bath, that will drown them. </div>
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I fill the bathtub with about an inch or two of lukewarm water and gently set Sherman down into it. He is calm and allows me, not only to stand him in there, but to gently massage water into his dry fur. He is shockingly calm in the water. He is much less so during the drying. Eventually I find myself cornering him in my bathroom with a towel. It is an action I would take with any of my cats without thinking, but brusquely rubbing his fur to dry it, I realize I have assumed he knows I am trying to help him and not hurt him. I have seen things so completely from my own point of view, I have been in danger of forgetting that I am working with a kitty who has had some stuff happen to him. Trust needs to be built. I dry him off as thoroughly and diplomatically as I can. When it is safe to <i>"flea him"</i> again, I give him a slightly lighter dose than his body weight and leave for the day. I stop micromanaging him and he is thriving. I can witness the trust building. </div>
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Our inner viewpoint has no peripheral vision. Once in awhile it can include the misty vantage point of truths we know because we "<i>used to be"</i> that way, but otherwise we are locked into our viewpoint and our viewpoint only. That is precisely part of why letting go in life is so essential. Our viewpoint is a narrow column and there are all sorts of wonderful things that lay just to the right or left of it. When we resist and try to force everything into our narrow round column of vision, it is like those wonderful possibilities get chopped off shoving a rectangle into that circle. We narrow our field of possible outcomes. </div>
A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-10879234599162036912015-08-04T09:48:00.001-07:002015-08-25T17:40:23.045-07:00Law of Attraction #4 - Being Seen and Appreciated for Who I Am This year I have received two of the best compliments I have ever received in my life. Actually the first of the two and the one I want to talk about today, began in 2014 and came to its final fruition this July. <br />
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This is the reason for doing all of the work. The things you want most in life are visiting you daily, but until you flip your switch and see the world through that porthole, you will never see, know or appreciate that. Let me explain.<br />
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Last year a friend of mine asked me to photograph her wedding. I am not a wedding photographer. Honestly, if you asked me today what I am, I would be hard pressed to say. It once was modesty or a lack of self esteem, but today it feels like you are just dealing with a person who has never quite thought "in the box." Or really, as an old friend used to call me, I supposed you are just dealing with a "spoiled brat." I studied and am trained in photography. When it came to choose a money making field within photography, I could never make peace with enslaving something I love to someone else's vision. In other words, I wanted to shoot what I wanted to shoot not what you wanted me to shoot. I know that was limited in scope, vision and belief, but at the time I could not see a way around it. Gently, I reminded my friend what my photography was like. I said aloud, <i>"I am not a Wedding Photographer." </i><br />
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I don't remember how she convinced me.<br />
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I do know it became apparent that, while I was avoiding putting myself at risk .... (Which is essentially what I was doing, swimming like a very large fish in my pond built for one.) ..... apparently at least one person was watching because it became clear she knew a bit about my artistic sensibilities and really did want me to be her wedding photographer. So I agreed. <br />
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Of course it is one thing to say you will do a thing and quite another to actually do it. When I agreed, the wedding was nearly a year away. I did take a Saturday or Sunday and shoot something called the <i>"Save the Date"</i> photo. That photo is at this link: <br />
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<a href="http://angelasrandomimages.blogspot.com/2014/11/commercial-work.html" target="_blank">Save The Date</a></div>
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The year passed. I lived my life and gave very little thought to the wedding. I went on not one, but two unique "bucket list" style vacations. Mardi Gras in New Orleans and an Alaskan Cruise. The latter fell just two weeks before. It was arguably the best trip I had ever been on. The "at sea"<i> </i>days contained Abraham-Hicks workshops; the port days contained fantastic excursions. In between there were amazing views and staff always looking out for you, squirting Purell into your palm and asking if you would like anything to drink. <br />
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Right before I left on the cruise, the bride sent me an email with a list detailing the formal shots she would like me to take. My eyes swept over it and my brain said, <i>"I'll think about this when I get home."</i> In that moment, I began building a platform of <i>"I don't know what I'm doing"</i> inside me and when I finally took a good look at it, a week before the wedding, my self confidence fell like it had been hurled out of a 747. For a couple who had said they weren't really into the formal shots, there were a lot of them. Or at least it looked like there was to my ever widening, frightened eyes. I spent nearly the entire week leading up to the wedding seeing it as this terrible, uncomfortable thing I had somehow tricked myself into believing I could do. <br />
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At the same time, I have always been a fighter, so I began strategizing and planning how to make it happen. The fear strangling my mind in its frozen grasp began thawing and my creativity began blossoming. I enlisted two friends to help and be my "photographer's assistants." Since they are both photographers themselves, I gave them official duties. One was in charge of setting up and maintaining two GoPro cameras I wanted running during the wedding and the reception. While it wouldn't give them what I considered the typical wedding video and I hadn't volunteered to shoot any video in the first place, I thought it would give the couple unique and contemporary footage of the event. I had also seen a wedding video online where people attached a GoPro camera to a whiskey bottle and then passed it around the reception, asking guests to give the couple a unique toast. I thought perhaps I could get something fun and interesting if I simply passed the word among the guests that I had two GoPro's running and they were invited to stand in front of one at any time during the reception and voice their best wishes for the bride and groom. <br />
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The last item on the bride's list had been the couple's desire to have a photo of each of their guests, so I put my other assistant in charge of creating "<i>faux selfies."</i>. Once again I hoped it would be fun and contemporary and I could combine them with the more traditional portraits that I would shoot. <br />
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I was beginning to feel more optimistic and excited about shooting the wedding, but it was when I began picturing how I would present the photos to the couple that the real shift or <i>"pivot" </i>as Abraham-Hicks would call it, happened. Back when I had been a bride a million years ago and "S<i>ave the Date</i>" photos were called an <i>"Engagement Photo</i>," wedding photographers used to sell packages that included a book that organized the photos together. Some years ago I had taken Christmas vacation photos, printed them in a Shutterfly book, and given copies to the friends who had also been on the trip. I realized that could be a good solution here as well. That decision opened up my creativity. The next thing I knew my mind was playing with the potential rather than fearing the worst. I had shifted from negativity to positivity and optimism, from scarcity to abundance. Even better, I remembered who I was and why I was at the party. I realized that, while the bride's list had simply been meant to be helpful .... (in fact, the bride had done some work as a wedding photographer and provided me with the list she had always wished her clients had given her) ..... I had twisted it into an edict of duties I had to fulfill to be <i>"A Wedding Photographer.</i>" I had forgotten the essential detail. <br />
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They hadn't hired "<i>A Wedding Photographer.</i>" Knowing who I was, knowing my work; they had hired me. Simultaneously I realized something else. I was so busy trying to figure out how to be what they wanted that I was in very real danger of not giving them what they had requested.<br />
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Me.<br />
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Like I said, it was one of the best compliments I have ever received in my life. I have always been a people pleaser. Essentially the people in my life would tell me either in words or in action what they wanted from me and I would try to fill those shoes. It had become second nature. Yet here, at a wedding, which I consider one of the most rigid parties you can ever throw, the powers that be (aka the bride and groom) weren't asking me to jump through standardized hoops. They were asking me to do what I do naturally. They were asking me to be me. <br />
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I'm not sure life gets any better than that. <br />
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I would like to publicly thank Josh and Susan Needleman for giving me the great compliment of asking me to be their wedding photographer. May your life together be long and blissful. <br />
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The book delivers in about a week, but here is a preview of my two favorite pages.<br />
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-55593212126259188162015-07-28T10:52:00.000-07:002015-08-25T17:39:25.796-07:00Law of Attraction #3 - A Three Legged Cat Named Sherman <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My goal is to be as happy as I can every moment of the rest of my life. Even if it weren't my distillation of how I see the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, it would be a worthy goal. There is a big difference between wanting to be happy and not wanting to be unhappy. I once saw a Simpson's Halloween episode where one of Maggie's dolls had a Good and Evil switch. The doll hadn't really wanted to kill Homer. Her switch was simply toggled to evil. That's what happiness turned out to be for me. A metaphorical switch in point of view that needed to be flipped. <br />
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Even knowing that, it can be difficult to maintain 24/7. I have had my heart broken a couple of times in my life. Mostly over the loss of pets. My goal with a pet is to build a relationship and when one of them passes, I have lost a friend. One who stood by during the troubling moments of the previous 20 years, give or take a few. It was with a wary eye at the advancing age of my pets that I whispered into the wind, "<i>When I'm ready for a new pet, the right new friend will arrive." </i> The idea is not to replace the aging pet, but to introduce new love into my life to dull the sting of loss a little.<br />
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Unbeknownst by me, across town a woman named Renee was admiring her downstairs neighbor's kitten. She noticed when he broke his leg in two places. She noticed when his owners removed his collar and removed themselves from a place of responsibility for him. She put herself out on a limb to rescue him and get him some help. <br />
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Meanwhile, in my world everyone was getting kittens. Not "a" kitten, people were suddenly getting them in pairs. I began to like the idea myself. They could entertain each other and possibly impact my older kitties less. Besides, from what I was seeing, two kittens are hilarious!!<br />
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I mentioned my plan to a friend, Judy, whose sister is a close friend of Renee's. By this time, <i>"Mr. Sherbet"</i> had had his leg amputated and would be available for adoption as soon as he had healed enough to do so. His life seemed to work in one month spans at that point. A month to rescue him. A month for him to heal. It didn't take another month for him to find a home. The first day he was available for adoption, I signed the papers and brought my newly named <i>"Sherman" </i>home. <br />
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Abraham-Hicks talks about "<i>the next logical thing"</i> and that was exactly how Sherman's adoption unfolded. I whispered what I wanted to the universe and trusted the right thing would happen. When it did happen, I just took the path it directed. In the car ride home, I had my first moment of uncertainty. Sherman tried to chew his way out of the cardboard crate the Human Society provides. I can remember sitting in the backseat of Judy's car and saying urgently, <i>"Judy, we need to get there soon. I can see his entire head!"</i> <br />
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It's so funny. My focus had been how to protect the poor three-legged cat from my full grown, big bruiser Peabody. Suddenly I realized more completely what Sherman had been through. In two months time, that cat had broken a leg in two places, had it amputated and was going to a new home. This was no shrinking violet cat. I realized I might have it a bit wrong about who would need protection. <br />
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Another month has passed and no one needs any protection from anyone else. Peabody has accepted Sherman. Most of the time they even seem to be friends. Sometimes they even seem like Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman or like Peabody is satisfied <i>"schooling"</i> the youngster. When I adopted Sherman, the papers said he was a year and six months old, but he looked and acted too much like a kitten for that to be accurate. I asked Renee, who knew him the best, and she said the vet told her he was about ten months. <br />
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Ten months and two of them were spent having a leg amputated and recovering from the same. <br />
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I never doubted the right cat would stroll into my life somehow. Just as I never doubted that, if I followed the signs and continued taking the next logical step, the best thing would happen. And it did. <br />
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My new friend Sherman limps a little at times, but other times you would barely notice his missing leg. He doesn't let it stop him from climbing the highest shelves in my house. He has lost none of his kitten-ish curiosity about his new world. If life is learning to be happy unconditionally, Sherman is a daily example of taking what life gave you and still finding it sweet. He definitely enjoys it to the fullest. <br />
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I would like to publicly thank Renee and her husband, my friend Judy, the Napa Humane Society and Dr. Randy Lung and California Pet Hospital. Thank you for saving Mr. Sherbet. Thank you for bringing me my Sherman and giving me this chance to save him a little too.<br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3589959393946628097" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3589959393946628097" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-76103077732158222102015-07-21T16:24:00.000-07:002015-07-21T18:06:10.058-07:00Law of Attraction #2 - The Good Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Once in awhile something will fall into my lap that makes the Law of Attraction not only real, but obviously real to me. It happened recently when I discovered the Abraham-Hicks Vortex of Attraction Alaskan Cruise 2015, signed up and showed up for it. Before going, I had marveled how much Abraham must love the cruise workshops. "<i>They must be like shooting fish in a barrel." </i> If the goal is to feel as good as you possibly can in every moment, who isn't feeling good on a cruise?" <br />
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Although Abraham-Hicks' teachings have taught me not to look at other people's struggles or shortcomings, during the beginning of the cruise, I couldn't help but notice not everyone was feeling as happy and affluent. Letting my 'monkey mind' play with it awhile, I realized what I had done differently. <br />
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We look at the world and life around us and we call it reality. Just as LeRoy Neiman looked at the pages of "Playboy" and allowed it to make the good life a reality for him, if we want to change our viewpoint in regards to reality, we need to seed that change ourselves. At the end of the cruise, sitting in a Virgin America First Class seat, I realized that was exactly what I had done.<br />
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1. Although the friend who accompanied me on the cruise has long said <i>"Balcony rooms are a waste. You're going to spend more time out of the room than in it." </i>I couldn't help but think that I'd like a view from my room. I thought too about how crowded it might be on deck while we were passing Alaskan beauty. I wouldn't have to worry if I was taller than the people around me on my own private deck. Knowing there are fewer dark night time hours in Alaska during summer, I also thought I might be tempted to go out on my own balcony then. While I might not be tempted to walk all the way up to the deck. I opted for my own private balcony.<br />
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2. From water to high end alcohol, Celebrity Cruises have a wide range of drink packages available. I chose the absolute highest, most expensive and most inclusive one. Without trying to make sure I accounted for every dollar I had spent, I also made sure that I used it. Every day I picked up at least one very large bottle of water, as well as a mixed drink I had never tried before or the most expensive glasses of wine on the menu. It turned out that the "most" expensive glasses of wine actually required a little bit more money than just the drink plan. Rather than get upset and huffy about that, I simply said, "<i>Ok. Go ahead and charge me the extra two dollars."</i> Rather than charge me, my waiter said, "<i>I'm going to let it pass this time. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the possibility in case you run into another extra charge drink at one of the other restaurants." </i> The last day I even tried a Singapore Sling, which was a drink my grandmother used to talk about drinking on her freighter trips when I was a little girl. When pre-choosing my options, I didn't limit myself.<br />
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3. I signed up for an excursion at every port. Two of the excursions were Abraham-Hicks exclusives where I got to travel side by side with other workshop attendees. Two of the excursions were personal victories. One of them was a Sled Dog Mushing Experience that included a helicopter ride to and from a glacier as well as the chance to be the musher for a team of dogs that train for the Iditarod. <br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/k_7hBMUc9vQ" target="_blank">Era Helicopter and Sled Dog Return</a><br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/-AOk6iF2_go" target="_blank">Era Alaska Flightseeing Helicopter and Dog Sled Tour - Dog Run - July 5, 2015, taken with GoPro Hero3+</a><br />
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I also went on a zip line excursion in Ketchikan, Alaska, but there is a lot more to that story which I will return to another day.<br />
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4. At the airport while picking up my boarding passes, I was offered an upgrade to first class for $70/each. You know I took advantage of that. Besides being one of the first on and off the plane, free champagne and real food rather than pretzels or nuts, hot damp towels, and a seat that had a massage setting, I was rewarded by my companion turning to me mid flight. <i>"This is fun,"</i> he said. <br />
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What will you do to make the good life a reality for you?<br />
A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-81426293899011764862015-07-14T07:55:00.000-07:002015-07-14T08:01:45.387-07:00Law of Attraction #1 - The Colorful T-Shirt(Today was going to be the first entry in a new blog "Cheerleader of Life," but the site had a massive failure "server not found" and I decided the best thing to do was to publish the blog entry on my already established blog. So without further ado ... my regular Tuesday blog ....)<br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Day 2 of the Abraham-Hicks Alaskan Cruise 2015 ...</b></span><b style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>we are in Ketchikan, Alaska in a gift shop when I </b></span></span><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>see this shirt</b></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>, </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgogPktALFIeG0E-EIz4_4axEX9_xfzpDkYldECmSm4KLFwdwSS7LjsPn5QwGgeXV4kpDYFsUljV2vk5YLUBfyt6maElIayha8pe6ZxLKb1wORTdgilP9Lc2CN0_XnACTEo-6hw1pf9BNsQ/s1600/11714431_10206082407013477_366605567_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgogPktALFIeG0E-EIz4_4axEX9_xfzpDkYldECmSm4KLFwdwSS7LjsPn5QwGgeXV4kpDYFsUljV2vk5YLUBfyt6maElIayha8pe6ZxLKb1wORTdgilP9Lc2CN0_XnACTEo-6hw1pf9BNsQ/s400/11714431_10206082407013477_366605567_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Shirt sold by <a href="http://www.themountain.com/">http://www.themountain.com</a>. Artist Dean Russo)</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta;">and I love it</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">and grab one to buy ...</span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></b></h2>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>but before I get to the cash register ... I see this other shirt.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxuWMU01wxP0MWz-SvQWmpu6E550gvpyDz4oV7l_OiNGqNkziNUVAI5Ri1Tqgzuv_pb7Xx849V507_xR6u6N28aB50FGwU3xm7sYaER5hbepm2CxviPUIUmy2g1_1xqQuMcbkHvNbZQszY/s1600/11741879_10206082414733670_702538689_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxuWMU01wxP0MWz-SvQWmpu6E550gvpyDz4oV7l_OiNGqNkziNUVAI5Ri1Tqgzuv_pb7Xx849V507_xR6u6N28aB50FGwU3xm7sYaER5hbepm2CxviPUIUmy2g1_1xqQuMcbkHvNbZQszY/s400/11741879_10206082414733670_702538689_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Shirt sold by <a href="http://www.themountain.com/">http://www.themountain.com</a>. Artist Dean Russo)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I reach to grab one of those too, </span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">but they don't have my size.</span></b></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7;"><b>I consider buying the one that is too big .... but I've had a shirt like that before .. you love the image so much ..... you buy something too large ...... and it always feels a bit off ..... and you end up getting rid of it barely ever worn.</b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: red;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><b>The shop is a real touristy place ... perhaps even one in a chain of shops ..... so I think maybe I will get another chance.</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>In Juneau, Alaska ..... our excursion </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>(mushing a team of sled dogs, but that is another story) </b></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #141823; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">ends late in the day and I opt out of looking at the gift shops in town.</span><br /><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></h2>
<b><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am wearing my new husky dog shirt in Skagway, Alaska, our last Alaskan town where I will have feet on the ground, when a man walking towards me from the opposite direction with his own group of friends slaps hands with me as we cross paths. He is wearing not the identical shirt to mine .. but very very close .. obviously the same artist.</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">None of the shops in Skagway have it or anything similar.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">I set the notion aside .. thinking I will google it when I get home.</span></h2>
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<b><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">We have a day and a half at sea followed by</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"> <span style="color: magenta;">our final </span></span></b><b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">evening</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">in Victoria BC.</span></span></b><br /><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></b></h2>
<b><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We go on the Abraham Hicks exclusive excursion to Buchart Gardens (which simply means we ride there together as a group.)</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>We won't get back to the ship until at least 10pm. Dinner, pics, and shopping will all have to fit into our slim window of time. </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 33px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>(I should admit too. I almost didn't go on the excursion. The Abraham workshop was over having just ended that day. I was considering spending the last of my time on the ship quietly processing everything, but during the break between the last two sessions I met a lady who was local to me in the line for the toilet. She had mentioned other people from my town who were at the workshop. I hadn't met them yet and I thought maybe they would go to the gardens.)</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is a 45 minute drive to the gardens. We hit the ground running. Cameras out. 100 pics or so later, I get really hungry and convince my friend Art it's time to go to the coffee shop. I eat a hot dog. He has some sort of pastries. We eat them sitting at a table between the coffee shop and the gift shop.</span></b><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As we're eating, I see stained glass items in the window of the gift shop.</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></b><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></span></span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I begin to feel this excitement or urgency to go there </span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">..</span></b></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>so much so that Art has only finished one of his two danishes, but I ask if it is ok if I go in ahead?</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">He has no problem with it and I do.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I spend a lot of time at the stained glass .. they have this stuff that looks very ... primitively artistic and features cats .... I like them .. but don't love them.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I begin to wander around the shop .. </b></span></span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not sure what triggered the .. "I wonder if ..."</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span></b></span></span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>but sure enough .. yes they had it .... in any size I may have wanted.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Now .. really that was good enough for me ... but .. today when I was talking to Art as he left .. I realized something much larger.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>See .. before I left for the trip .. I wanted to bring a t shirt or two .. but I wanted them to be a bit more on the feminine side ... not big like a man's but a little more form fitting .. while not being too tight or revealing.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>I have this t shirt I bought on a trip to Arizona .. it is beige and has a coyote on it ... the coyote is very colorful, but in a southwest way</b></span></span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><span style="color: #674ea7;">.</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>I had wanted to take that shirt,</b></span></span><span style="color: red; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>but it was in my laundry and in the mess of my house </b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: small;">(my house has been under construction for almost a year now .... but that too .. is another story)</span></span></h2>
<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>... I couldn't find it.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Coyote shirt - still rumpled from the laundry where I found it - says only "Gildan Ultra Cotton" on the label)</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>It is only ...</b></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>after witnessing the beauty of Alaska</b></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>after soaking in hours of Abraham-Hicks material </b></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>after enjoying exciting adventures like zip lining and dog sledding</b></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">it is only in a casual conversation with </span><span style="line-height: 22px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Art ...</span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 22px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b></span><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 22px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>that I remember .....</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 22px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 22px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>One of the last thoughts I had as I finished packing before the trip ....</b></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>"I really want to get a few more t shirts with a colorful animal on the front."</b></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3589959393946628097" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3589959393946628097" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: url(data:image/png; border: none; cursor: pointer; display: none; height: 20px; opacity: 0.85; position: absolute; width: 40px; z-index: 8675309;"></a>A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-11237223017070587652015-06-23T10:45:00.002-07:002015-06-23T12:29:12.085-07:00Shifting to Harmony <div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony."</i></div>
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<i>Mahatma Gandi</i></div>
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My coach Gil McIff would say the cause of suffering is man's lack of awareness of his true nature. It isn't an obvious point at first, but that is essentially the same thing Gandi was saying here. In other words, due to our lack of understanding, what we think, say and do can never quite be in harmony. Abraham-Hicks would say we feel discomfort because we are not in alignment with our source. We are not in alignment with our true nature. <br />
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From childhood to current day, I have been a lot of different Angela(s.) Angry Angela(s.) Sad Angela(s.) Happy Angela(s.) Each generation of Angela is more loving, more confident and happier. I am so grateful I am the sort of person who embraces the opportunities to grow and change as well as a person who navigates through the harder changes always emerging better for having ridden out the storm. <br />
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More so than at any other time in my life, I know who I am and I know what I need to do. For years I have compared myself to others. Even after the years where I let myself emotionally fall short, I compared thinking others would benefit from the things I was learning. I have transitioned from evangelist to coach to a fully realized individual continually on the path of being. More and more what I think, what I say and what I do are in harmony. <br />
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From a score of philosophical teachings and teachers, I have discovered a few principles to guide me along my path:<br />
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1. As much as possible, follow a path of least resistance. One of the things that always shook my life up in a bad way was my need to take action, particularly in the forum of needing to speak up, explain or defend myself. A lot of poorly advised phone and email conversations happened even though it might have been a technical struggle to complete them. It was like I was given dozens of tiny little chances to change my mind and yet I still pushed through them full steam nearly always to my later regret. <br />
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I don't do that anymore. <br />
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Back when I was a darkroom photographer, I noticed that some days photographic printing was a struggle. The harder I tried to fight through; the deeper the pile of wasted photographic paper that ended up in the trash. I learned that sometimes the answer was to pack it up, go home, and try again tomorrow. The path of least resistance is found by grounding yourself in the present moment, being open to the opportunities, but not forcing anything. I have realized that even no action is essentially an action and that I really can't do anything wrong. What I once would have considered a mistake that impacted my life in a detrimental way, I now consider an opportunity for learning and growth. I am not the underdog struggling to keep up. In a very real sense I am the creator of my world and my personal existence and I have adapted the creative lessons of my "real world" writing and photography. Creations struggled over remain less satisfying because if nothing else, it is hard to determine when to stop. The best creations are effortless, flowing out of you as easily as your own personal scent. <br />
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2. I have learned, rather than troubleshooting my life and continually looking for potential problems, I am the creator of my existence. What I look for I will see. <br />
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I'm a big fan of the Walt Disney Company and I have been to their parks many times. In a very real way, Disneyland is a microcosm of the larger world. Here is a place that exists to entertain, to kindle the fading embers of your childlike joy. Yet all around you there are people troubleshooting the problems. Complaining about the crowds or expense. I have never heard it better addressed than the cast member I witnessed who was trying to direct a large traffic of people through an already congested area, who said:<br />
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<i>"Remember why you came here."</i></div>
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I have come to believe I didn't come here to look for holes in the dykes in which to stick my finger. I didn't come here to tell any emperor(s) they had been hoodwinked into wearing nudity. I came here to live a human lifetime. I came here to be alive. </div>
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All that troubleshooting and complaining we think protects us from danger, simply draws that which we don't want to us. At the same time it delivers a numbing sameness which may feel protective in times of struggle, but which dulls vibrancy and blocks us from joy. We freeze out our own potential for happiness in our attempts to protect ourselves from pain. </div>
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If what I see is what I look for, I have decided to saturate my environment with textures I find enriching and beautiful. If what I see is what I look for, I have decided to look for the silver lining in every cloud.</div>
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3. <i>"The rich get richer and the poor get poorer" </i>I have come to understand as a byproduct of the Law of Attraction. If we believe we are rich in abundance and things come to us easily, we are and they do. If we believe we are poor and in competition for scarcity and that life is hard, we are and it is. </div>
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I need to show some gratitude to my mother on this point. No matter her personal struggles, she always told me "<i>things always work out for you."</i> Even before I understood the mechanics of why it is so, I found comfort in the awareness. I found comfort in hearing it and in telling it to myself. We believe the stories we tell ourselves. We believe them and our belief causes them to be true. My understanding of this has forever transitioned my self talk from one of <i>"Life sucks and then you die"</i> sarcasms to one of self soothing pep talks. I can be and have so much more than I ever knew because I have already witnessed it time and time again. </div>
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4. I have learned that trying to siphon self esteem and confidence from other people's praise and opinions is like trying to use it to fill a gas tank with a hole in it. No amount can ever fill it and unless or until I find its source within myself, it will remain empty. </div>
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Near the time of my divorce, I saw Albert Brooks' movie <i>"Defending Your Life."</i> I recognized the main character's fear-driven life struggles as not being dissimilar to my own. Not liking the picture that painted for my future, I decided to be brave. The first thing I did was go with some friends to a place called Moaning Cave in Vallecito, California. Today they have more things you can do there than then, but at the time, you could choose to either descend a staircase or rappel down into the cave. I went there with the very specific purpose of rappelling. </div>
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After overcoming the fear based sensations of needing to use the toilet and worrying I may throw up, I found myself dangling by a rope in a huge cavern in full view of the optional staircase. I was completely over my fear and I was sort of wishing the rope ride down moved a little faster when I heard someone on the staircase notice me and say, "<i>I could never do that."</i> In that moment, I could remember feeling the same. Simultaneously, I knew how little effort it took to do it and inwardly I revelled at the awareness I had extended that effort and was doing it. I had transitioned from the Angela who couldn't do it to the Angela who could. </div>
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Self confidence comes from achievements. It comes from being able to look at something and tell yourself, "<i>I did that."</i> </div>
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My beginning path as a coach was the same as the rest of my life. I looked for the pitfalls and tried to troubleshoot clients' lives. I have come to understand, by simply observing and assessing a client's life status and determining that he/she needs to make some changes does us both a disservice. It is the equivalent of viewing them in a negative way. In my portion of our co-creation of existence I am seeing them as coming from a position of lack and having made mistakes. I cannot drag them to my higher position in that way. Worse, by simply viewing and focusing on the negative, I am far more likely to fall back myself. Tread once again through waters in which I have already been. </div>
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That's where I find myself today. </div>
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It is time to no longer tell you the stories of where I have been and what I have overcome. I am and always will be the woman who wants to share her successes with you. I am and always will be the woman who wants to drag everybody into the lifeboat with her. The difference is I am no longer willing to see my words as some sort of lifeboat of advice, I am no longer willing to see you as being in any sort of distress or struggle, and I am no longer willing to dive down into the murkiness of my past or my past unhappiness to try and achieve the unachievable. If I am going to lead, let it be by example. </div>
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It is time to embrace who I am deep inside, a sort of cheerleader of life. With that in mind, I am crafting a new blog*. I want it to be exhilarating with stories of rappelling, zip lining, sled dog racing, and perhaps even scuba diving. I want it to be stories of joy and appreciation. I want it to be stories that catch the attention of those people walking down the stairs rather than rappelling. </div>
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Maybe, just maybe .... if I share the stories where I take pleasure in being alive .... I can get just one of them to whisper ...</div>
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<i>"maybe"</i></div>
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<i>*New blog is already in construction and should begin the first or second week of July 2015. </i></div>
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A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-82953895726038757272015-06-16T14:43:00.001-07:002015-06-16T14:43:21.478-07:00Reality vs The Perception of Reality<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-3526380755424903057" itemprop="description articleBody" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 546px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">I had the beginnings of a blog on The Good Life. A modest proposal that there is no "<b>The</b>" Good Life, but rather there are as many paths to a good life as there are people on the planet. Then I adopted a new kitty, Sherman. Now my formerly "good life" has a little too much hissing, growling and spitting in it and I am a little bit distracted. So, while I watch episodes of <b>"My Cat From Hell,</b>" please enjoy this reprinted blog post "Reality vs The Perception of Reality" which I first posted February 20, 2011. Thanks for your patience. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Believe it or not, reality vs the perception of reality was the argument du jour on my news wall at Facebook. Actually that in itself makes a good illustration of the argument. In reality, Facebook is a social networking site. A more simplified way to describe that reality would be: Facebook is a place where individuals can post thoughts, photographs, game information - nearly anything of a digital nature that they would like; and make them available for other individuals to access. Perception of that reality then becomes more involved with what people do with the site. Given the capabilities of Facebook, (for our discussion) it makes no difference to the "reality" if an individual uses it to play Farmville 12 hours a day or to post hourly reporting on anything from the current events of "my vacation" to the current state of the world. You see, what the people use the medium for IS their perception of why it is available to them and what is its appropriate usage. Although those perceptions involve a certain amount of judgment, it is the next layer that gets judgmental. That is where, having witnessed a segment of posts or time on Facebook, the individual "judges" Facebook as, let's say, "a place where silly, boring people waste precious hours of their life playing equally silly games." Now, keep in mind, this is NOT reality. This is perception. Facebook still sits there - unbiased as to what its life purpose is. It is the perception based glasses or blinders of the human individual that makes a judgment about that reality and then reinvents it. The problem arises when the human is unaware he is filtering reality through his own perceptions. </span><br /><div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">On my Facebook news wall, the reality vs perception question invariably traveled to the question of "if a tree falls in the woods, but no one is there to hear it; does it still make a sound?" But when you think about it from a purely, "reality vs perception," point of view; while it may be a fun little game to play with, it doesn't provide us a lot of enlightenment. Unless, of course, we allow ourselves to travel far enough to make judgments about whose fault it is that the tree fell. Otherwise, it is not a question about what the difference is between reality and perceived reality; it is a question about whether or not there actually IS a reality beyond what we perceive. Which is another ballpark altogether. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Let's look at another one just to see where it gets us. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">There is an elderly man in a nursing home. One day, a water glass leaves the grasp of his hand, falls to the floor and shatters into many pieces. That's the fact. That's the reality. We have a man. We have a nursing home. We have a broken glass on the floor. But, to the individual's witnessing or impacted by the event, the perception based reality can vary greatly. Perhaps the son of the man perceives the event as a sign of his decreasing strength and decline in health. Perhaps the daughter of the man perceives the event as a sign of the nursing home staff's lack of proper care for her father. Perhaps the nursing home attendant perceives the event as a patient's attempt to receive more attention than the rest of the patients. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Now here's the next problem with perceived reality. We can judge all of those individual's perceptions based on what they witnessed or didn't witness on that day or in the entire life of the elderly man and his personality; but what our "rational" mind fails to grasp is that ALL of the perceived realities are correct. Every one of them is correct whether they appear to be in conflict with each other or not. Now, "correct" is probably not the best word actually, so let's substitute "real." Every one of those perceived realities is real. Every one of those perceived realities is real and represents the reality of the individual perceiving its existence. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Understand? We are now in "one man's junk is another man's treasure" territory. You see, humans are nearly incapable of simply reporting the facts of reality. Our opinions, our need to understand and feel safe in our own existence, our fears - they all give us the guidelines of what reality looks like and what it means. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Now the argument on Facebook involved American government. A whole bunch of "isms" were being paraded around as realities. It is impossible for an "ism" to be reality OUTSIDE of perception. Let's break American government down to the "facts." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">There are three branches of federal government: fact. One branch is the Judicial Branch: fact. One branch is the Legislative Branch: fact. One branch is the Executive Branch: fact. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Together, these branches make, execute, and interpret the laws that govern America: fact.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">But when Americans get together to talk about their government, this is almost never what they are really discussing. Instead, they are arguing about whether or not the laws enacted by the government are right or good; why the individual's working in the branches enacted the particular laws that they did; and what the government should be doing that they are not. All of that involves perceptional reality. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Now here is the important part. It is the scary part, but it is also the part where empathy can begin. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Remember all of those perceived realities are real. They are absolutely the real realities of the persons perceiving them. Let's take one that is as far out on a fringe as you can get in order to make the point. Let's say an individual witnesses all of the news of what laws and decisions the federal branches are making and he perceives that the President of the United States is actually an alien from outer space determined to initiate the destruction of the human race. Just because you or I believe that perception to be ridiculous, it is still that person's reality in which he resides every day. Or at least until the next election. We can't assume that any amount of our reassuring him that we have seen the president's belly button - he is a human - will alter his perception. In fact, he might even perceive our attempts to persuade him as evidence we may also be aliens. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">So now that I've brought you to this point - this distinction between reality and perceptional reality - what is MY point? Why bother, especially if we can never cajole, argue, or persuade the individual into changing his perceptional reality. He can only do that on his own. My point is what I take from the knowledge that an individual's perceived reality IS his reality. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">That man, the one who believes the president is an alien bent on the destruction of the human race? He lives in a very frightening world. Where we may see joy and laughter and all of the best possibilities for the human race; in a very real sense, he is living in a Philip K. Dick novel and is feeling only fear and doom. Imagine how that must feel for him. He must face every day with a generalized sense of dread. He is essentially facing a hell on earth. It is so important that we attempt to interact with him only in a compassionate way. It's my belief, at least, that it is only possible for an individual's perception of reality to change when he or she is in a calmer, more relaxed state away from his or her fears. So rather than yelling at people and calling them idiots for what they believe or attempting to argue them into agreeing with you; take a step into the painting that is their perceived reality. Try to understand why they would believe that. Try to understand what it must feel like. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">But here is the most important part. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Let me make it plain, I am not saying we need to be on the outlook for weapons of mass destruction under the bed or in the garage of everyone who doesn't agree with us politically. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">What I am saying is that just because we believe another individual's perceived reality is "crazy talk;" we should never assume that whatever actions they claim they may make are anything other than factual statements of their capabilities in their current perceived state of reality. It is action based on shared perceived reality that brings about change and revolution, but can also bring about destruction and slayings of the Charles Manson variety. Individual perceived reality can bring about great thinkers, artists, visionaries, inventors, but it can also deliver that mundane job worker who takes the whole office hostage. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Underestimating someone else's capabilities within their perceived reality can bring about an end to your own.</span></div>
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A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-54542155823362795692015-06-09T07:40:00.002-07:002015-06-09T08:51:38.175-07:00Let's Play a Game Pull out your favorite writing utensil, your phone or tablet, a pen and a piece of paper. Either imagine or remember the last time you tried to uplift a friend who was down. Maybe he/she was getting a divorce or had a death in the family. Maybe the person just got fired or wrecked their car. What did you say? Maybe you said, "<i>No worries. Everything always works out for you." </i>Or a simple <i>"I love you." </i>Write down all of the sentences you can think of or remember. <br />
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This next part is going to involve a bit of honesty. You don't have to be honest with me, but you do need to be honest with you.<br />
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Take your list to the bathroom or whatever room has the largest mirror in it. Look yourself directly in the eye and tell yourself all of the sentences. <br />
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Could you do it? Did you laugh, feel silly and walk away? Or did you rush through the sentences, emotionlessly reading them, without ever really meeting your own gaze in the mirror? <br />
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I really can't remember when it was I realized I could not meet my own gaze in the mirror. Oh sure, I could look at my face. Brush my teeth or hair. Put moisturizer or mascara on. Even then, I would survey what I was seeing critically. It was like I was constantly looking at someone of whom I ever so slightly did not approve. The only time I would catch a glimpse of my own smile was when I happened to be laughing when I entered the room. <br />
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The discomfort I found trying to look myself in the eye was not like trying to avoid seeing a wrecked car on the side of the road or the latest gruesome death on <i>The Game of Thrones. </i>It was closer to that of a child who knows he/she has misbehaved and is reluctant to see the disappointment in mom's eyes. I found it a bit disturbing and fascinating. Think about it. How many years do you spend in the company of your parents? Your children? Your spouse? The only person who will be with you from the beginning to the end is you. And you can't look yourself in the eye? <br />
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There is a power in observing yourself in a detached way as if you were simply a witness. There is a scientific term called <i>"The Observer Effect" </i>which refers to the changes that the act of observation will make upon the observed. I'd like to humbly suggest that being able to observe yourself in a kind and loving manner will cause dozens of tiny, infinitesimal changes in your outlook and life which, like tiny stones tossed at the top of a hill, may be much larger and have much greater momentum somewhere near the bottom. <br />
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Do you have a best friend? A person who just <i>"gets you?" </i> Who could possibly <i>"get you"</i> more than you? That's where I started. I pictured myself as my own sidekick. My own best friend who had only the best intentions and love in her heart. What did I say? I ad-libbed and I recommend you do the same. That's because life is too fluid for a script. Even talking to yourself, you can't anticipate just what you may need to say. Beyond that, I basically told the truth. I acknowledged feeling silly talking to myself in the mirror. I apologized to myself for all of the disappointments in my life. I cried a little. In the end I told myself all of the comforting things I had ever wanted to hear from someone else. <br />
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<i>It will be ok. Everything will be ok. Everything always works out for you. I'm right here. You are right here in this moment. There is nothing in this moment that can hurt you. I am sorry I neglected you. I won't do that again. I love you. I will always love you.</i></div>
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Over time, my conversations with myself became less like a parent soothing a disappointed child and more like an admirer or fan. </div>
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<i>Wow! What a great day! You did things today you never realized you could do! You are unstoppable! There is just no stopping you now! You are on FIRE! </i></div>
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Pretty silly huh? Just another pointless self-help, waste-of-time game. </div>
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Except a funny thing happened. Along the way it became easy to look myself in the eye. I not only began seeing my own smile in the mirror, rather than being the set expression one sets knowing his/her picture is being taken, it is the natural, easy shapes a mouth makes when it can barely resist bursting out into laughter. </div>
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Like I said, it will take a little bit of honesty. Only you know what your experience is when you look in the mirror. If it is anything less than, <i>"Look at you. You ROCK!" </i>You might want to have a heart to heart with the one person who will truly always ever be there for you. It might just be the start of a surprising, but beautiful, friendship. </div>
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-47791916435776035362015-06-02T09:10:00.000-07:002015-06-02T09:32:09.250-07:00A Modest Proposal About Changing Your MemoriesMemory is a squirrelly thing. The other day I was at a memorial service for a friend I knew way back from high school and I was reminded that my memory for those days is not very good. Which is always kind of funny because, in those days and for years afterwards, I was frequently told I had a memory like an elephant. Both are true. In those days, life felt very precarious and I felt the need to keep track of nearly everything. I couldn't be found to be wrong in any circumstance. Nowadays life doesn't feel as scary anymore. You could challenge me to a battle of who remembers our childhood's more clearly and I would just shrug and say, "you win." I no longer have to wear my memory as a suit of armor. While I am sometimes amazed by the depth and breadth of the details that have now slipped by me from my childhood, I know that my hyper vigilance at the time is also the culprit now. While I was tabulating details, I wasn't very present or "in the moment." How can you be when your mind is running a constant check list to see if everything is ok? <br />
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Until recently, though, I could remember bad details of my childhood with crystal clarity. The sad result of filing the successful moments away as something completed and the unwanted moments as problems somehow still waiting to be resolved. Holding myself as never being any better than that little girl who got into a lot of trouble when she was eleven. I know I'm not alone too. The dates and ages are different, but a lot of other people do the same thing. It doesn't have to be that way. <br />
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The other day I was reading about memory and I learned a startling fact. When you remember an event you are not actually remembering the event itself, you are recalling the last time you remembered the event. While that might be a nightmare to those who always have to be right, to the rest of us it provides a surprising opportunity. Since the details about an event are invariably going to shift like a phrase whispered from one kid to another during "<i>The Telephone Game,"</i> why not help them along? Particularly if you have painted yourself a loser or the villain of your childhood. Why not rewrite your story and treat yourself with a little bit more kindness? <br />
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Let's try an example. <br />
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Let's say you didn't have a lot of friends growing up and you spent a lot of time by yourself. Rather than focusing on the loneliness and the isolation, how about focusing on the things you did and what you enjoyed? Form a sentence in your mind looking at the positive aspects rather than the negative. For instance:<br />
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<i>I really developed my love for art back in high school when I was able to spend hours of uninterrupted time looking at reference books. </i></div>
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Just like a good affirmation, the sentence has to be something you will find believable. That means can't just put on a cape in every memory and become a super hero. You will find more success if you shift your point of view more than the details themselves. </div>
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When I was growing up, my parents were very over protective and controlling. When I would get into trouble, my mother would have a massive freak out and behave as if I were "The Bad Seed." I tormented myself with the self image that I had processed out of those memories until both of their deaths. My mother, who was bed ridden the last two years of her life, gave me the inspiration for rewriting some of those earlier stories. One day when I was visiting, she was talking about the time she, my aunt and my grandmother attended college classes. It was when I was a toddler and was a sort of "girls night out" for them. In the story, my mother told me one of my cousins once helped her with writing a paper. <i>"Pointing out what needed to be capitalized and that sort of thing."</i> She gave an example or two and, while I said nothing at the time, I was struck by the contrast between us. All of the rules of grammar for which she needed guidance, came to me so naturally I couldn't possibly forget them. While driving home, I thought about the notion of knowing more than your parents and remembered the many times my parents had talked about how smart I was. "<i>What if,</i>" I thought, <i>"I didn't get into trouble so much because I was a 'bad person,' but because I was a 'smart person.?'" </i>I already knew that my mother's life revolved around fear. What if my mother was afraid early on that I would be smarter than her? What if she worried that I would create or get into troubles that were beyond her coping skills? It certainly wasn't the story I had been telling myself, but at the same time, I could see it as a valid point of view. I stopped rehashing the notion, "I am inherently bad" and began telling myself:</div>
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<i>I was a bright and curious child who liked learning new things and exploring. My parents sometimes felt out of their depth keeping me out of harm's way.</i> </div>
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Notice I didn't change the facts. My parents still went to unusual or undesirable methods to control me. I changed my understanding of why that was the case. Whatever happened, let's say you broke your arm, got an F in Algebra or wrecked your dad's car. That event still happened. It is the story you tell yourself about why it happened or why it was such a bad thing or had such a negative impact on your life where you have the most opportunity for change. I would argue the most need for change as well. </div>
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Think of it this way. Whether you believe in an anthropomorphized god, a life force of energy, or no god at all, this is your life. You are here to live. During that lifetime, you will attempt and accomplish a lot of things. I just think you will have an easier time if you start out telling yourself you are good and worthy and capable. This is just a method to backdate that way of believing in you. </div>
A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-21405330893824583452015-05-26T14:47:00.001-07:002015-05-26T21:45:24.891-07:00Just Stop Talking About ItMy life has been positively exploding with opportunities lately! I have been remodeling my house and so many things began falling into place people pointed out to me I was almost building an entirely new house! Now, as I decorate the reconfigured rooms, each stroke of paint seems to make me feel just a tiny bit more alive and excites me. A friend told me it was like I was building my own personal Wonderland. I couldn't have said it better myself. <br />
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At the same time, opportunities for travel are opening up. I have friends in both London and Paris who have a guest bedroom available. I visited New Orleans for Mardi Gras this year and in a little over a month I will be in Alaska. That was a big Law of Attraction moment of delight. I have been talking about wanting to go to Alaska since the 90's. Recently, I have been saying I would like to try a cruise, maybe a theme cruise for added entertainment, and after friends went to another workshop since the retreat we attended together, I decided the next workshop I would like to attend would be one with Abraham and Esther Hicks. <br />
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Yes I am. I am going on an Alaskan Cruise with Abraham and Esther Hicks. After talking with my two friends, on a complete whim I googled some sort of mixture of <i>Abraham-Hicks</i>, <i>workshop</i> and <i>cruise</i> and found an outline of an experience that could have been lifted right off from my vision board. Including the port visit attractions. Even with all that, I still messaged a friend who has been to an Abraham-Hicks Caribbean Cruise. He said, <i>"If you asked me if I would do it again, I would answer, 'In a heartbeat." </i> Excited almost isn't a large enough word for how I feel. <br />
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So I'm immersing myself in Abraham-Hicks teachings. I would really like a chance on "The Hot Seat" and even though it is probably next to impossible given how long Abraham has been answering Hot Seat questions, but I would like to ask a new one. I would like to identify the best question I could ask Abraham for my own behalf AND nudge the discussion a little further along. As I listen to Abraham-Hicks audiobooks and youtube presentations, I have already had my first potential questions answered and I'm becoming pretty well versed in Abraham's Law of Attraction point of view. <br />
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If you find yourself unhappy with your life and the opportunities that are presenting themselves to you, the answer is in the question. Don't understand? Voice the question you would ask Abraham to yourself lightly. Is it something along the lines of:<br />
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<i>Where is my soul mate? The love of my life?</i></div>
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<i>Why am I not more successful?</i></div>
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<i>Where is my slice of happiness?</i></div>
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So far the number one takeaway I have from all of my Abraham-Hicks studies is the importance of being happy and having a positive attitude. The things you want in your life that aren't there are held back by your own repetition of complaint they are missing. The more you keep <i>"beating the drum" (</i>as Abraham would say) of the bad things that have happened to you; the more you push all of the good things you've been wanting away. You attract not what you want, not your opposite, but exactly what you are. The next time you complain about that dimwit fellow employee or that road raged driver who cut you off? Consider this. According to Abraham, they didn't just drop into your lap. You actively attracted them. So if you find yourself surrounded by bad tempered, combative people, you might want to do an emotional self check. You want to aim for a high frequency to attract a high frequency item. You need to be authentically happy to attract more happiness to your life. </div>
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Authentic happiness. You can't complain about all that baggage, cross your fingers behind your back and say, <i>"Just kidding." </i>The universe doesn't listen to what you are saying. It reads the emotional frequency you are broadcasting. So if you are in a <i>"the world sucks and then you die"</i> place, guess what world you will attract? </div>
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But <i>"misery loves company"</i> right? We think it feels good to complain to others and get recognition and confirmation of our position. We feel validated, but do we really feel better? Or is it like the junk food aisle of happiness? A temporary, not very filling alternative that frequently leaves us no better than we started after our sympathetic audience has departed? </div>
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There used to be a joke something along the lines of <i>"Why do I bang my head against the wall?" </i> <i>"Because it feels so good when I stop." </i>But it's not really a joke. It's the way life works. If your life isn't working, you are metaphorically banging your head against things and asking when this pain in your head will go away. Stop and it will go away.</div>
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I've been studying the Law of Attraction for a few years now and that's what I've been trying to do. I know I've had times where I have found it impossible NOT to drone on about the bad things that have happened in my life. I remember the feelings of needing to explain. The feelings of needing to be understood. Some time not that long ago, a friend gifted me with one of the most important things I needed to hear to begin the process to stop. </div>
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<i>"You talk like you're the only person that has ever happened to."</i></div>
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I immediately recognized the truth in what he was saying because it was also how I felt. The fact that my friend had had similar experiences and had not talked about them like I did was startling and liberating. </div>
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You don't need to tell everyone your story. You don't need to explain. You don't need to justify. You don't need to set up a context for who you are now or who you want to be. According to Abraham, all you need to do is, in this moment, find the happiest, highest frequency you can reach. In the next moment? Find the happiest, highest frequency you can reach. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Don't beat yourself up when you find yourself slipping. Slowly make your way to an emotional place where you feel better. If you feel better, you have raised your frequency. </div>
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Salt your world with music that inspires you, colors that soothe you, textures that comfort you. Hug, squeeze and breathe in the people and creatures who you love. Learn to focus your attention on the world you love rather than the news that scares you. Try this. Have you ever been driving, your favorite song comes on the radio, you're singing along and all of the sudden, another car cuts you off? By the time your hearing for anything beyond your own cussing has returned, it is three songs later. Right? </div>
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There are no fewer than a thousand reasons you cannot be privy to that may have caused the driver to behave as he did. Your judgement about him is based on you and your fear and has little to do with him. You don't even know him. Meanwhile, you didn't die and your favorite song is still on the radio. I'd say your best and happiest course of action, and the one that will benefit your future the most, would be to keep on singing. </div>
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Stop talking about everything you hate and give some airtime to everything you love. </div>
A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-82446402383875031352015-05-19T09:29:00.000-07:002015-05-19T11:17:11.745-07:00So, I Took a Walk YesterdayThat isn't such a big deal. I took a walk the day before too. With a friend. At about 2:30 in the afternoon. The big deal is that I took one of those things I've been meaning to do and did it. I don't know about you and your life, but in my life, I seem to see significant changes every half year or so. One of my more recent changes is in my sleep patterns. I fall asleep pretty early most nights, sometimes waking up in the insomniac time zones of the night only to realize the reason I'm awake is because I've already gotten enough sleep. Seven hours is seven hours whether you wake at 7:00am or 4:00am. For a week or two now I have felt twitchy. It's as if my body is trying to tell me I have been neglecting it. I keep hearing friends who talk about morning walks. They sound really good, but the time always seems to slip away leaving me once again ready for bed without having ever taken that walk.<br />
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Not only did I take a walk, by myself, but I took it at 6:30am. <br />
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For the first three blocks I was still on the fence as to whether I wanted to walk or not. The air was cold enough I was still a bit chilly even in my sweat clothes. I had only walked by my neighbor's house before my left foot felt like I had extended it too far and I had a sharp pain in the arch. I usually wear Chuck's. If I'm not in my slip on Converse shoes, I'm probably barefoot. I've never understood how shoes I essentially "live in" can suddenly become uncomfortable just because I do something a little out of the normal like take a walk or go to a convention or a theme park. I kept walking. <br />
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Three more blocks and I'm off my street. I told myself two blocks ago the only reason my left foot hurt is because I'm focusing my attention on it. Think of something else. Listen to the birds. I can feel the cool air in my throat and bronchial passage. I'm unsettled by my breathing becoming a bit more labored and I struggle with my inner critical voice who decides now would be a good time to tell me I'm a loser who never works out and who looks like a potato. My right foot starts to hurt. I keep walking. <br />
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Three more blocks. Whether they are now successfully "warmed up" or "stretched out," neither foot hurts anymore. I'm far enough now that going back home and "forgetting this ever happened" is no longer an option. If I cave in and quit early, I will remember. If I succeed and finish my planned route, I will remember. I keep walking.<br />
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I walk through the exhaust stream of a car warming up just before I pass my friend's house. My route is roughly based on our walks together. Just past her house is the half way mark. Neither foot hurts and I have warmed up enough that my sweatshirt seems almost unnecessary. I've been walking a slightly wider, more busy street on the border of my neighborhood, now I turn and head into the interior streets. Immediately I notice it is even quieter. It is almost as if I am the only person awake. I feel almost like an intruder. Except for another empty car left running to warm it up, the only other life present is a cat trying to keep warm at the end of a driveway and a crow who seems to want to chase me off his street with his persistent cawing. I pull out my phone, take a picture of the cat and a tree I admire in one of the front yards, and continue walking. <br />
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Three more blocks. I'm closer to home than not, but on a different street than I usually use when in my car. Nothing hurts. I'm feeling good and I'm taking in the scenery as I pass it. My inner voice, no longer trying to abuse me, is full of "that house is a pretty color" or "I wonder when they added the extended porch to that house." After another three blocks, my confidence is high, I feel almost like a veteran walker and I can see my house in the distance. <br />
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Walking up the steps to my house, I picture myself flopping into a chair and relaxing. As I open the front door, my cat, an even greater creature of habit than myself, is startled by the unusual activity and puffs twice his size. (The front door at my house doesn't usually open before 8am and that is usually after he has requested it verbally in a variety of meows.) Honestly, I don't remember what I did next. I know it wasn't flop in a chair. I kept active. I kept moving. A certain momentum had begun and I seemed reluctant to let it end. What I do remember was how my legs felt the rest of the day. Relaxed, moving smoothly, gracefully. They felt happy about the morning's events. <br />
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I think that's how change works. You have to fight past your natural resistances. Your ego/mind wants to protect you and will sling a bunch of abuse at you to discourage you. It can't see any dangers in your comfort zone. It doesn't know that living your life with box-like limitations is very ..... well ..... limiting. If you can distract yourself long enough to get past the initial discomfort and internal naysaying, you surprise yourself by doing things you've never done before. Frequently with ease. You might even actually enjoy yourself. Still, for awhile, the next time will require the same effort. It will require remembering how good my legs felt rather than thinking how cold the air feels or that my left foot has started the journey unhappy again. I know too that, if I can keep this up for four weeks, at the end of that time I will be a walker. It will become a habit. At this point, it is mine to decide whether I want it or not. I'm a big believer in occasionally assessing "what do I want out of life?" and then going out and getting it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to take a walk. <br />
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-8077342552587409012015-05-12T06:00:00.000-07:002015-05-19T11:13:47.683-07:00The Levels of ConsciousnessI need to preface this blog entry by saying you are never responsible for someone else's feelings. The influence or contamination of emotional feelings that I describe in the blog can both happen to others encountering you as well as to you when you encounter others. What I am always trying to shine a light on is that, just because you may be having a rough day or going through a bad patch, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE UNHAPPY. Emotions are good. They are our special gauges that tell us whether we are living life in a way that is happy and fulfilling or constrictive and disheartening. But just like a gauge in our car that tells us our car needs service, we don't simply leave the triggered gauge on red and talk about it for hours, days or weeks on end. <br />
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There is a chart that can be found across the internet, based on Dr. David Hawkins work, which assigns a numeric value to all of our emotions. The Levels of Consciousness chart. They developed the numbers via kinesiology or muscle testing. <br />
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Now in the Law of Attraction, we learn that like attracts like. In other words, a high energy frequency attracts a high energy frequency and a low attracts a low. <br />
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I was thinking about past relationships and arguments or bad moments that I've had and suddenly I could actually visualize exactly what had happened using The Levels of Consciousness Chart.<br />
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Joy is at 540 on that chart and Love is at 500. Lets call the combination of those two <i>"Happiness"</i> and rather than a numeric value, let's give it a color. Red. Fear is at 100 on the chart and Desire is at 125. Let's call the combination of those two "<i>Getting Your Self Worth from Others" </i>and give it the color blue. Anger is at 150. Let's give it the color purple.<br />
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In the scenario I was thinking about, a friend and I were together. Laughing and having a good time. If you could see each of us as glowing in our level of consciousness colors, I'm sure we both would have been red. Keep in mind, like attracts like. We're both happy and we are supporting each other at that energy level. Maintaining it by attracting it back and forth. I drift out of the moment. Something happens that makes me think of the past or triggers my lack of self worth and I begin talking to my friend, not from our red place of "Happiness," but from my blue place of <i>"Getting Your Self Worth From Others."</i><br />
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Like attracts like. In this situation, a few things can happen depending on my companion's resilience levels and skills at resisting others negative emotions. <br />
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Because that's what I've done. I've introduced negativity into the room. I've done it innocently enough. I have left the present moment and my ego is running my <i>"Getting Your Self Worth From Others" </i>program. It actually represents me, slipping from <i>"Happiness"</i> and attempting to reestablish myself there. I suddenly feel bad and I'm attempting to feel better.<br />
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It can never happen. It is the equivalent of trying to make a dish less salty by adding more salt. <br />
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I've introduced negativity into the room and I've broken our attraction. If my friend is very resilient and has very good skills at resisting, he or she will probably excuse him or herself from the equation and leave the room. If my friend is very patient and empathetic, he or she might cajole me back to "<i>Happiness," </i>but I could just as easily drag my friend down. <br />
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Downward emotional stations from "<i>Happiness"</i> or Joy and Love on The Levels of Consciousness Chart would be Reason, Acceptance, Willingness, Neutrality, Courage, Pride, Anger, and finally, Desire and Fear or <i>"Getting Your Self Worth From Others."</i> Some of those may not sound all that bad, but keep in mind they are lower than "<i>Happiness."</i> In terms of emotional pain or discomfort, lower energy levels don't feel as good as higher ones. If my friend is very susceptible to negative emotions, I may even drag him or her lower to Grief, Apathy, Guilt or Shame. In the scenario I was thinking about, I dragged my friend to anger and we had an argument. I converted us to colors rather than numbers because I think it is a good visual representation. My friend was red. I was blue. He or she took on a bit of my blue and became purple. Angry. <br />
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Now consider this. You've had a bad day at work. You come home and your loved ones, your family, are all laughing and having a good time. They are buzzing along, red and in the 500's and you inject yourself into them, gruff and complaining, somewhere under 200. The very best you can hope for is that they will draw you up to their level, but you are running the risk of dragging them down. You are making yourself a burden. It is as if your entire family was required to carry a certain amount of weight and, instead of carrying yours, you redistribute it among the rest of your family. I'd like to think you'd never do that. I'd like to think that you would rather take on some of your loved one's burdens than willingly place yours upon their backs. <br />
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There is a popular self help meme across the internet.<br />
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"<i>Never put the keys to your happiness in someone's pocket."</i></div>
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We tend to look at that from a very self centered viewpoint. I want to be happy and I can't depend on anyone else to make me happy. </div>
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1. You can't "make" anyone do anything. Just as no one can "make" you do anything. In reality, when someone else has done something and you respond by being happy. It was your choice to respond in that way. Understanding this means understanding you also have the potential to choose to be happy at any time you like. No matter what circumstances are unfolding around you.</div>
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2. Your moods and your life are your own responsibility. No one else's. One of the reasons you can't put the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket is because they are responsible for their own happiness. No one can be or should be burdened with your happiness as well as their own. </div>
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<i>But what can I do?"</i> You might say. <i>"I feel however I feel. I can't control my emotions."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>There are actually a lot of things you can do. Consider my example. I said "<i>I drift out of the moment." </i>By that I mean, I drift out of the present moment. Instead of being present and actively interacting with my friend, I have allowed my mind to drift. Probably to the past since what it netted was insecurity and negativity. Whatever things happened to you at work, they are not present with you when you arrive home with your family. They can only be there, if you drag them there. One thing you could do is meditate and cultivate practices that enable you to be more present. You could work to make yourself more resilient and resistant. You could do this by exploring your emotions, understanding why you feel like you feel and make peace with your demons from the past. Or you could consider the possibility that, in order to feel happy, we must think happy thoughts and consciously decide to be happy.<br />
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One of the quickest routes to being happy? Do something nice for someone else. You can't "make" them happy, but you just might "make" yourself happy in the process. A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-67831016176965566312015-05-05T05:30:00.000-07:002015-05-19T11:15:22.049-07:00Communication I've been remodeling my house. Most of it is skeletal. The things a house needs to remain upright and insurable. Right now, I'm refinishing the old floors. Even that touches a part of my brain that tags it as necessary. If the floors are left to weather from their already weathered state, in another ten or twenty years, I may not be considering whether or not they are pretty, but rather whether they are structurally sound. I have been living in the house during the work and I have discovered the depths of my patience. Meanwhile, my cat Peabody hates it. <br />
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At the moment, one side of the house is cut off from the other side of the house while the floor finish dries. Peabody, who I rescued from the neighborhood almost never has any interest in going outside, but is seriously bothered by his current lack of mobility. I wish I could just whisper in his ear and he would understand.<br />
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"<i>It's ok Sweet "P". It's only for another few days. You'll get your mobility back."</i></div>
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This morning I realized I was wishing for an event with an animal that rarely even happens between humans. To communicate and be understood. To listen and understand. We think we do. Probably we even come close most of the time, but then we have those moments. Those stark uncomfortable moments where we suddenly become aware we are talking to a friend who has become a stranger. Viewing each other across a chasm of uncertainty and strangeness, we can't help but eventually wonder if we ever had a real dialogue at all. </div>
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Consider this. I have been talking with an old friend from school on Facebook. We are finding more similarities than differences between us. We both believe in growing and changing and improving. We both believe choosing happiness is the answer. We've flirted a little. The other day, after a few weeks of this, his daughter friended me on Facebook. </div>
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Let me stop for a moment and ask you. Why did his daughter friend me on Facebook? What do you think? Figure it out and remember your answer. </div>
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When I told him, he sounded surprised. I told him that he had probably mentioned my name a few too many times and his daughter was protecting him. Checking out what trouble he might be getting himself into. He made a "hmmm" noise and said, "She is friends with a lot of my friends." I took it as confirmation for a moment or two and then I realized I was doing it again. If my goal was a dialogue. If my goal was communication. This wasn't it. This was simply playing the B-roll of the amalgamation of my life's viewpoint. Wherever it is that I am now having intentionally drifted from where my parents raised me to be. The viewpoint-colored glasses that observed their close relationship and chose to see a loving daughter protecting her dad. (I have reached the point where my glasses are colored in benign loving world tints.) </div>
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What did you think? I know you can't tell me, but I challenge you to consider this. Your answer tells you nothing about me, nothing about her, and everything about you. Ask yourself this.</div>
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What are the glasses I use to view the world tinted with? Do you view the world in a happy benevolent way? Or is the world more sinister and inscrutable? Because what you see is not necessarily all that is there, but it is what you will get. </div>
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A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-60862939809212136052015-04-28T08:22:00.001-07:002015-04-28T08:22:55.449-07:00Breathe<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms';">Some days there is nothing left to say except what you have already said. In other words, my mind is currently percolating on whatever it wants to talk about next. I've learned to give it the time and space it needs. While I'm waiting, let me present "Breathe," an entry from an earlier blog originally written August 17, 2010.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On July 1st, I started the P90X exercise program. I didn't start it because I'm an athlete; I'm not. I didn't start it because I wanted to be an athlete; I don't. I started it because I want to be strong. I wanted to regain strength I felt I had lost over the years. I wanted to build and rebuild muscle. I wanted to look and feel capable. Less than 30 days into the program, I found myself waiting at the emergency room for a family member who had had a stroke, desperately searching for strength and capability. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There is a moment during Stretch X, where you are performing some sort of complicated maneuver that is stretching your gluts and Tony Horton talks about discomfort. It is a longish, rambling quote spoken by a man who is feeling the discomfort that he describes: I don't think I can quote it directly, but I can paraphrase it. Horton says that he feels discomfort and asks "so what do I do? I don't think about it. I breathe." He explains that every time you breath out a muscle releases slightly which, of course, would remove some of the discomfort, but that you can't breathe out unless you breathe in . . ... "So breathe." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So that's what I did. That advice got me through the day and I realized even if Tony Horton had created a mini catalyst in my brain, it had been advice I had already been using before I had ever heard it. I had done that in the dentist's office when a cleaning seemed too long or too uncomfortable. I had used it when heavy traffic suddenly felt like a parking lot and I wanted to throw open my car door, scream and run off into the distance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anytime I had felt pressured and too fragile not to break, I had used it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There will be times where you feel such physical or emotional pain that it is as if half of you has been crushed and you don't know if you want to die or crawl away from the part of yourself that is gone. Breathe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There will be times when the fear and discomfort is so real and strong you will think you would willingly chew your own arm off just to get away from the trap that you've found yourself in. Breathe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I can't promise it will make you a better person. I can't promise it won't happen again or again or again. I can't promise it will be easy the next time. But I can remind you of the Nietzsche quote we have all surely heard by now . ..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The key to being stronger is surviving what is in front of you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Just breathe.</span>A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-38527810966519886362015-04-21T08:58:00.001-07:002015-05-03T18:47:12.312-07:00Learning from Outlander's The Devil's Mark (SPOILER ALERT)This morning I was watching Outlander on my DVR. This morning I saw Jamie's reaction to Claire's Time Travel story. I saw his reaction to her admission that she had tried to go back to her own time and her husband, after being married to him. <br />
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For those who aren't familiar with the show, Claire is transported from her own 20th century to Jamie's 18th century. She is married to a man in her own time period who looks very much like the bad guy in Jamie's time period. On television, the viewer has actually spent more time with the actor as the bad guy rather than the husband, so if I'm average, I'm all for her staying in the past with Jamie. <br />
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Perhaps it was with a lifetime of silly romances under my belt that I winced a little when Claire admitted she had tried to get home to her husband AFTER being married to Jamie. <br />
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<i>"Oh. Don't say it like that!" </i><br />
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But I was in for a surprise. Jamie asks if Claire was trying to return to her time and husband and rather than going to a place where he complained that he meant so little to her, he looked grief-stricken as he said,<br />
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<i>"and I beat you for it."</i></div>
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You notice what he did there? He didn't make it about himself. Rather than look to where life affected him, he earnestly tried to put himself in Claire's shoes. </div>
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I myself can't count the number of times, in the face of a loved one and confrontation, I've looked to where life affected me rather than being like Jamie. But if I were to make a list of all the things I love about me, at the very top would be the fact that I have been able to do it sometimes.. </div>
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It's not about right, wrong or anything being a sin. It's about living your life in a way where you can be happiest. You can be happiest when the people who surround you are happiest and all of that happens when everybody stops looking for where there is shortcoming. <br />
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Rather than whine about her leaving him, Jamie delivered his wife to the spot she needed to be to do just that. As a husband and a lover, he acted selflessly and put her needs before his own. It was a beautiful moment, even if it only happened in fiction. That sort of love requires not just a willingness to be vulnerable, but an acceptance that sometimes I will be hurt. <br />
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All weekend I've been thinking of a friend of mine. I know him to be a dog person even though he hasn't owned as much as one pet during the entire time I've known him. I know because he has told me a story of his two dogs and how they died. He has told me he was so heartbroken he could never own a dog again. That is how we normally behave. We get hurt and we build a list of things to avoid so we are never hurt again. We will be hurt again. It is unavoidable. When we guard ourselves from everything that may hurt us, it is love that gets shut out. Consider my friend. By never owning another pet, he shut himself off from all of the love and happiness a dog would bring. Worse, he kept his love away from dogs who badly needed a home and for what? Did it make him any happier? Did it remove the pain he felt from loving a creature and losing it? No. I think it would be more accurate to say it memorialized his pain and kept it precious. Rather than allowing it to fade to a memory, it kept the emotion alive. We cling to pain in order to avoid pain. <br />
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Consider this. When you lock a door to keep something undesireable out, you barr anything good from coming in too. <br />
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What I see most in response to the Outlander episode, is a revival of the saying: <br />
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<i>If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, they're yours. If they don't come back, they were never yours in the first place.</i><br />
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The problem with that is our traditional interpretation of the saying. Generally we see it as proof of love, when really it is an instruction in how to love. If you love someone, set them free. Allow them to be who they are and do what they have to do. That oh-so-judgemental second part? The one about whether or not they were yours? I see it as reassurance. You see, if you allow someone to be free that also includes the freedom to stay with you. <br />
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My mother used to have a cat. I can remember going to her room to ask her something when she wasn't feeling well and being told "Shut the door! Don't let the cat out!" Now I myself have two indoor cats that I have said nearly the same thing about. The difference is my mother was locking her cat in the same room with her. The other difference? When you opened my mom's door? Her cat wanted out. He wanted freedom. That's the way our pets were when I was growing up. We controlled them and they resisted us. As an adult, I have made other choices. Right now I am sitting in my bedroom with two cats, neither of which have to be here because I have trapped them with a door. The final difference? You will never ever feel as loved as you do when a creature, human or animal, chooses to stay with you when they have the freedom to leave.</div>
A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-21389987012298908312015-04-14T13:40:00.000-07:002015-05-03T18:48:13.777-07:00Angela's Corner PiecesHave you ever worked a jigsaw puzzle? Have you noticed how every time you discover a corner piece, larger bits of the overall picture become clear? I've noticed I have epiphany moments that work in very much the same way. I've come to understand that life is not a singular journey that ends or in other words, a person doesn't just <i>"grow up"</i> and spend the rest of his/her life a <i>"finished"</i> individual. For those who are interested and willing, lessons continue to deliver opportunities for more growth, understanding, and happiness. In my case, <i>"corner piece moments"</i> arrive on the precipice of change, either nudging me to the other side or alerting me I am already there. <br />
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Those moments become like a list of points in the theorem of how I would choose to live my life. Dedicating an entire blog to any one of them feels less like sharing my point of view than begging you to see life my way. Not my intention here, nor my personal cup of tea. Instead, I have decided to share them with you in the form of a list. <br />
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Here are my personal <i>"corner pieces"</i> or things that have caught my attention along the way.<br />
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<b>1. Change Means You Actually Change.</b> When I embarked on the journey, I thought of change like a mathematical equation where I remained constant and simply added extra elements. Instead, it is more like folding egg whites into egg yolks and Angela flavor and creating a soufflé. I noticed this morning that I even sneeze differently. Seriously. I used to be vigilant towards whatever made me uncomfortable or felt unpleasant. From a certain control freak point of view, sneezes are messy and inconvenient. They also can be a bit uncomfortable if you try to stifle them because <i>"this isn't a good time." </i>Now I keep my eye on the positive aspects of life. Even when something seems to be inconvenient or unpleasant, I look for the benefit. I had no idea that would change my view of sneezes! They have become the moment of relief after a sudden itch. Sometimes I will sneeze as many as ten times in a row. I always have. The difference is I used to resent it and find it unpleasant. Now it just makes me laugh. <br />
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Change means you actually change. Your point of view changes and when that changes, what you see and how it makes you feel changes too.<br />
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<b>2. We Think We Understand Life from a Universal Point of View, But Really We Only Understand From Where We've Been and Where We Currently Are.</b> Consider the concept, <i>"what other people think." </i>My earliest understanding probably came from someone asking me, <i>"If X jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?" </i>I thought it was all about peer pressure. Don't let someone convince you to do something detrimental or out of character for you simply because you want to be liked. Somewhere along the way I grew into the understanding that it is also about being yourself. For instance, if you grow a front lawn because everyone else grows a front lawn, you will never get to enjoy the beauty of the rose garden you would actually prefer. It became about individuality and how we all have gifts to bring to the party. Recently, I came into the awareness that when I meet a new potential friend and I hear about his/her hobbies or favorite things, I listen with an ear for what we have in common. I want to like all the things my new friend likes. Really I think it comes from a place where I simply understand that the more things we have in common, the more time we can potentially spend interacting. Realistically, if my bucket list is all dry land and yours is all water, we may like each other all we want, but we're not going to <i>"hang out together"</i> very often. What I realized was, while I would have loudly protested that I had outgrown caring what other people think, I was taking on other people's stuff to keep them in my life. I was putting their stuff before my own. It was subtle and no longer strictly <i>"what they think about me,"</i> but it was still putting too much emphasis on <i>"what other people think."</i> <br />
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When you change what you look at, you change what you see. As your viewpoint changes, so does your point of view. <br />
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<b>3. Focus On What You Want, Not on What You Don't Want. </b>After years of neglect and ambivalence, I'm cleaning up my home environment. When we clean house on that level, we tend to look for all the things we need to remove. It's one thing to do it with worn out and outdated furniture, but we tend to do that with the rest of our life as well. I don't want this job anymore. I don't want to be angry anymore. We tend to focus on what we don't want and talk about it a lot even while we are reading self help books telling us to focus on what we do want and not to complain! Luckily for me, one day I had Facebook open right next to a new book I had just purchased, something about not being angry anymore. While I was thinking, "I want to be happy," I could read the word angry on the book's cover. That was the last book I ever purchased that took a negative stance about anything. <br />
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It's a surprisingly difficult concept to put into practice. Consider how much you talk or hear other people talk about the things they don't want in the world. <br />
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Career politicians.<br />
Monsanto.<br />
Narcissistic, abusive partners. <br />
Cancer.<br />
Earthquakes. <br />
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Turn off the news. Limit yourself to a pre-edited internet page each morning on Facebook, Google+ or one of the other social networks. I can hear my parents in the back of my mind saying I'm choosing to live my life with my head buried in the sand. Maybe it is the equivalent of putting my fingers in my ears and saying "I can't hear you," but at the same time, my life is undeniably more peaceful and happy since I made the decision. <br />
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My parents and many other people like them, leave their TV's running near 24/7 on CNN or Fox News. The information age has tricked them into believing we have to be custodians of every bad bit of news that happens. It's like we believe that we are causing the things to happen by not being vigilant enough in our awareness. <br />
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On August 24, 2014, there was an earthquake in South Napa where I live. Within days, my Facebook feed was flooded with, not only pictures and videos of earthquake damage, but nearly dozens of predictions about California's next big quake. I seemed to have friends who were reading each and every prediction. Consider this. When that earthquake happened at 3:20am, no news service warned you minutes before it. You were either prepared or you weren't. <br />
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<b>5. Keep monuments to your successes, not your disappointments. Seed your environment with items that make you smile or gasp in awe at their beauty. </b>I have been a digital photographer for nearly ten years. I almost never print any of my photographs anymore. I look at them on a tablet or computer. Every time I looked through my printed photographs, I would find ten or more that reminded me of the time I tried to become a stock photographer. I sent the required number of slides, consisting of photographs I had already created. Labors of love. I received word back that they were interested. After my second slide submission, photographs shot all with an eye to becoming a "stock photographer," I received a "no longer interested." Every time I look at some of those latter photographs, I think those are the shots that didn't cut it. If my conscious mind is noting each photographic disappointment, I can imagine the nasty things my subconscious mind is interjecting. <br />
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A metal trunk I purchased years ago was hidden behind my sofa. It was buried under two blankets and six pillows. When I finally dragged it out of its hiding place, I remembered how beautiful it was. I remembered how excited I had been when I bought it. I believe in the Law of Attraction. I've learned that, when I'm focused on being positive, my life is more positive and happy. If I weed out all of the extraneous extra items in my life and focus on only the things that bring me joy, inspire me or that I find beautiful, I think I will have given myself the largest affirmation I can.A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-76444137593938693282015-04-07T07:30:00.000-07:002015-04-07T07:30:02.796-07:00The Shredder: A Manifestation Story?A long story short, I have begun purging my house. What once was going to be a simple reorganize and clean operation, has become a systematic removal of everything that no longer works for me. I say this a lot, but it is the best thing I've ever done. And still, it is. Let's just say I feel physically lighter. It is that good. <br />
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Where I now have two file cabinets, I want to have one. One is all about my writing and support for my writing and the other is all about my taxes and business information. Since I have done more support for my writing than actual writing and all of my business has gone digital, it shouldn't be hard to combine them. I haven't used my shredder in years. It is covered in dust and I'm not too surprised when it won't work and shows an overheating error. I open it up. Find it full. Empty it out and clean it. I try running it again. Overheated. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to buy a new shredder, but I simply unplug it and over the next three days, I occasionally check. It always says, "Overheated."<br />
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At the same time in the back of my mind, I'm remembering that a friend told me you have to put any shredded paper going into recycling into a clear plastic bag. I know that I don't have any clear plastic bags, so I'll need to get some. I keep repeating that to myself as if trying to remember a grocery list. <br />
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On the fourth day I worked. It wasn't the sort of work I do typically. More like every now and then. It involved installing speakers in a gymnasium and me performing as an anchor while they were being lifted up the wall. Anyway, there were six speakers and each speaker came in a clear plastic bag. After we were done, I asked if I could have them. I came home with the bags and the next time I tried the shredder, it worked. <br />
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There are aspects to that story that could serve to cheapen it. The fault with the shredder, I realized later, was pilot error. I was not getting the lid onto the body correctly. You could say the cost of six plastic bags was too inconsequential to even notice, let alone attribute to manifestation. <br />
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There is a reason they call it "<i>flow."</i> There is a way of being where life is not a struggle. Things go wrong, like a shredder not working, but rather than react to it. Rather than try to "make" something happen. I simply take note of it. I give it time. Look at it like seeing everything that hinders my progress as simply signs telling me it's not ready to happen yet. <br />
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In my experience, it is best to wait until things are ripe. Things are ripe when you have all of the materials you need to proceed forward, or in my case, the six plastic bags I needed. <br />
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In terms of monetary value, I manifested less than five dollars, but in personal gain? I now have a better appreciation and understanding of the phrase "<i>skating through life."</i> <br />
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-63034938725644255472015-03-31T09:47:00.003-07:002015-03-31T12:03:30.981-07:00Pathology Doesn't Recognize PathologyThat's a new concept to me. I just learned it yesterday. Pathology means the typical behavior of a disease. Pathology doesn't recognize pathology refers to patients with emotional or mental disorders and means that, when a person is in the midst of a disease, they do not recognize the symptoms of the disease as being unhealthy or diseased behavior. <br />
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It doesn't change a darned thing, but for me, it explains a lot. For instance, have you ever been shocked by someone else's behavior? You're getting along fine. You think you understand him/her. Then all of the sudden she does something completely out of left field. Something that makes you uncomfortable and feels rather hurtful. Certainly you have found a gap in your comfort zones and perhaps compatibility, but maybe you also have stumbled onto a bit of his/her pathology. A noticeable discrepancy between your emotional maturity levels or a sudden negative pothole from a person you thought to have a positive outlook. <br />
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Pathology doesn't recognize pathology.<br />
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Locally, I just told a friend what my blog topic is today and he answered, <i>"Well you already knew that. Crazy people don't know they're crazy.</i>" Perhaps, but the people I'm thinking about, I wouldn't exactly call <i>"crazy.</i>" In fact, they are people I call friends and relate to completely, up until that one incident. For me, it wasn't simply rewording a saying I have heard before, it was a sudden illuminating idea that moved things from the <i>"I don't understand this"</i> column to the <i>"I do understand this"</i> one. <br />
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Consider this. Stop a moment and take note of what you were just thinking. Put it into a sentence like "<i>I was thinking I would like a cup of coffee."</i> René Descartes with his "<i>I think, therefore I am" </i>has us confused. Rather than seeing our thoughts as simple confirmation of our being alive, we assign great importance to them. Perhaps even see ourselves as the sum total of our thoughts. Along my path of spiritual or emotional maturity growth, I have learned that I am not my thoughts. Simply phrasing "<i>I am thinking _________,</i>" points that out and separates me from my thoughts. I have learned techniques to detach myself from my thoughts and become a quiet witness to them and the emotions that arise with them. That's important because not all thoughts are created equal. We have conscious thoughts like "<i>I have to be at work today before noon, " </i>and we have unconscious or subconscious thoughts. A long time ago I worked at a winery where the clocktower played music on the hour, every hour. Customers would ask if I liked hearing it or if by the end of the day, I was tired of it. I answered honestly, "<i>I hardly ever hear it." </i>We do that with repetitive noise. We tune it out. Subconscious thoughts are like repetitive noise. For many of us, they represent the worst things we think and have heard about ourselves. Things like "<i>I'm not good enough and no one will ever love me"</i> on repeat play in our head. While we are not hearing the thoughts or recognizing them, they are affecting our mood, our outlook on life and our daily habits and behavior. <br />
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That's why techniques which shift an individual to a position of an observer of his/her thoughts are important. Habitually taking note of your emotional and mental state shines a light on those subconscious thoughts. <br />
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You know what they say.<br />
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<i>"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."</i></div>
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<i>Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.</i><br />
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When we make the subconscious conscious, we have taken an important step towards changing our lives. We no longer are slaves to limiting beliefs or detrimental thought patterns we acquired along the way. We become aware of their existence and that knowledge allows us to take responsibility. We are no longer an oblivious victim.</div>
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Sometimes when we are in a state of unease, we have racing thoughts. The situation, combined with our thoughts, creates a sense of urgency. It keeps us up nights or causes us to keep arguing with a friend, desperate to explain our point of view. In those moments, we are overly identified with our thoughts. Completely trapped within our own head. There are techniques to interrupt racing thoughts, but you have to have gained a level of awareness that they are there in the first place. </div>
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Pathology doesn't recognize pathology.</div>
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Framed in this way, I feel I can finally understand. I have been there. I have been an oblivious victim of my subconscious thoughts myself. I have said things and taken actions that would be uncharacteristic of me, had I not been racing the rabbit holes of fear in my mind. Framed in this way, I can find empathy for people whose behavior shocks, hurts or offends me. In fact, I can understand the wisdom of never looking to be offended because people's actions are never actually about me. They are about the state of the union in their own head. </div>
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-58116330061221382492015-03-24T13:47:00.001-07:002015-03-24T14:01:20.921-07:00"It's Always Something"A day or two ago, the ice maker in my fridge door stopped working. It is a new fridge in a new kitchen. Since one of the decisions I made along the way was whether to get a fridge with water and ice in the door or not, it didn't go unnoticed. As a matter of fact, I had just used enough ice I had decided I was really happy I chose that feature. <br />
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It's funny how my old, pessimistic, negative self struggles to be top dog again in those situations. I was putting ice into two water bottles. The first got just a little less than I had been aiming for before the ice stopped dropping. It was hard for my mind not to recall the fridge my parents had when I was in college. It was model with an ice maker in the door, but it was never hooked up. My father was afraid to touch it and my mother couldn't tolerate strangers in her house long enough for someone else to do it. Since even I could have opted against a model like that today, I'm not sure why they bought the thing if they were never going to hook it up. Perhaps for the dismal joy of badmouthing it weekly. Because, of course, everything ended up the non-functional ice maker's fault. They were a "<i>useless gimmick"</i> that tended to leak and destroy your floors anyway. <br />
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I'm a problem solver. While banishing the words <i>"gimmick"</i> and <i>"useless"</i> from my mind, I checked the water function. It still worked. I wondered who I should call if I needed to repair it. I didn't think that was the territory of the the contractors who installed it. I thought about it for a day, occasionally pushing the button to see if it was working again. At the end of the day, I pulled out the appliance's manual to look if there was a FAQ about troubleshooting the ice maker. A friend was visiting and together we took a look at it. It turned out that portions of the tape that held loose parts from moving during shipping had never been removed on the door's interior ice tray. Since the tray couldn't function properly, the cubes had fused together into one large mass of ice. The fix? Simply remove five strips of sticky tape and the blob of ice. It was that easy.<br />
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The funny thing about growth and change? Even as I sat back down to watch TV, drink with ice in hand, I could imagine what would have happened 20 years ago or so. First, I would have been so ashamed, I wouldn't have told anyone the ice function wasn't working for at least a year. Why ashamed? Because I bought into a <i>"useless gimmick,"</i> of course. The odds were much higher that, by the time I discovered the sticky tape issue, it would no longer be the fix. Some greater damage would have happened or a part no longer available would be needed. The fridge would not only have ended up like a huge albatross hanging around my neck. It would also be a monument to how I lacked deservingness to have nice things and that .... isn't funny. <br />
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On Facebook today, a friend countered one of my positive placards with the negative shadow point of view. She was being funny and I did laugh, but at the same time, I kept picturing five strips of sticky tape.<br />
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It all comes down to the world in which you live. If you live in a harsh and cruel negative world where $h/t happens and then you die, you probably believe it to be an unavoidable truth. I've lived in that world. I was always hurting. I was always angry. It was <i>"always something."</i> It was like standing in front of a pitching machine shooting rapid fire and the best I could do was keep the balls from hitting me. I lived in that world because it was my parents' world and the only one I knew. Luckily I learned I have a choice. <br />
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I choose a magical world where good things happen and problems can be solved easily by removing five strips of sticky tape.<br />
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-21090998608999772512015-03-17T09:42:00.002-07:002015-03-17T09:45:18.909-07:00How Different Would Your Life Be?If you could tell yourself with confidence that everything always works out for the best? How different would it be if you never saw any event as a failure, but rather simply a surprising turn of events that apparently needed to happen, even if it was unclear at the time? What if you saw the universe as always looking out for you and nudging you to better places? <br />
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I think you would feel safe. I think you would feel loved. I think you would be optimistic, perhaps even confident. <br />
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You can, you know. You can tell yourself that. We build our worlds out of what we tell ourselves. To benefit from this point you have to be capable of two things. First, to be your own advocate. You have to want to win as well as want yourself to have the victory. Second, you have to want the victory badly enough you are willing to work for it. Willing to change. <br />
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I've been actively telling myself things always work out for the best for about a year or so now. Last weekend, I lost a filling. It was so unexpected, so out of the blue, that I couldn't help but wonder what was up. Why is this happening? Or what will come from this? Even as I did, I was aware and grateful that I didn't feel any pain. Far from being at any complaining place about the situation, I was keenly aware I was getting off easy. Thinking of conversations I've had with people who have witnessed the synchronicity of sudden change, I wondered if I would run into someone at the dentist's office. I wondered if I would end up with a new filling that was in some way superior to the one I had lost. That's what it turned out to be. At the end of my appointment, the dentist and his assistant had the most amazing conversation about my new filling. Apparently they had tried out a new product with my filling. <br />
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<i>"I really like that color. It's almost a perfect match."</i><br />
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It had this odd sensation of being talked about, in front of me, but in an approving manner. Or even more, a sort of I was there and my mouth got a filling, but other than that, it had nothing to do with me. They were talking about the materials as well as their own performance. My filling was work that made them proud. It was like listening to dentist geeks at a dentist convention. I lost a filling and gained a better one. I suspect a much better one. <br />
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It wouldn't have played that way a few years ago. First, I would have obsessed about the loss. I lost the filling on the weekend. Every moment from then on would have been filled with awareness and worry about the lost filling. It didn't hurt, but I would touch it over and over again with my tongue to make sure it still didn't hurt. It was almost like I felt I would forget I had lost a filling right at some critical moment so I had to remind myself repeatedly. Then after worrying myself out of any sleep, as I called about an appointment, I would dwell on how inconvenient it was. Complain about how I would have to go to the dentist. If I told anyone, it would be framed as things I was "made" to do. While not being out of the realm of possibility, I certainly wouldn't notice it if the dentist and his assistant talked about my filling in that scenario. I would only hear words at a negative frequency, mirroring my own emotions. <br />
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How different would your life be if you could tell yourself with confidence that everything works out for the best? Give it a try. I've found mine to be filled with delightful surprises. <br />
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<br />A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589959393946628097.post-34542685529345296372015-03-10T14:10:00.001-07:002015-03-10T14:10:16.100-07:00Nothing Can Ever "Unhappen" - Reprint Sometimes between projects, I find my mind whispering. Not negative self talk putting me down. It is more the quiet musing about what I want to do next. Like a wind blowing through an empty hallway rather than actual words. I will feel a restless energy and urge to create, but I'll have no focus. That is how I feel today. I am at a crossroads junction between beginnings and endings and I just don't know what I want to do or say.<br />
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It is an excellent time to revisit another earlier blog post.<br />
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Some times many ideas and pieces of advice you've heard over the course of your life suddenly align themselves like a constellation of stars and paint a picture. It may be a picture you have known all of your life, but never fully comprehended until just that moment. That happened to me recently and when I tried to explain my newly learned concept to Art, he nodded and said, "Yes. Of course." Like I had simply said the sky is blue or fire is hot, when, to me, I had mapped out an entire network of why life can be so difficult to navigate.<br />
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In case you, like me, find this a more complicated, "I could get lost in the woods" sort of journey; I want to drop bread crumbs at each turn I think bears watching or noticing. I think my own journey began at the first bread crumb, "forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not something you 'bestow' on somebody else." That tidbit of information first caught my attention on the Dr. Phil Show. His guest was a woman whose husband had cheated on her. Now I have another whole complicated network of opinions and beliefs about infidelity - none of which will appear here. What was important about the show was what happened when Dr. Phil tried to make the woman hear and understand the concept about forgiveness being a gift you give yourself. Rather than considering, embracing or finding relief in the idea, she was hopelessly stuck in the notion that if she forgave her husband it would mean he "got away with" cheating on her. Sitting in the comfort of my living room, far away from this woman who wasn't even among my sphere of acquaintances, let alone friends, I didn't know if I wanted to bang my head against the wall or throttle her. "He already GOT away with it." I screamed at the television. "Now you just have to decide what you're going to do with your life going forward. Stay with him or dump him." My money was on "dump him" because I couldn't see any way a person who was as stuck as she was could possibly ever find comfort or love in his companionship. I could see my way out of part of the puzzle she couldn't see. "Fish or cut bait" that's how I saw it. But even though I hadn't really realized it yet, I hadn't fully embraced this notion of forgiveness being a gift you give yourself. All I could see was the inertia present due to the corner she had painted herself into. </div>
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I think it's time to drop another bread crumb, here. </div>
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Anyone who has ever heard anything about a 12 Step Program has heard the concept: "The first step is admitting you have a problem." Many of us, knowing that we don't have a drug or alcohol problem, hear that phrase from the safety of a mind that feels it is information which doesn't pertain to me. We may joke about it occasionally with a friend who really enjoys chocolate or golf or "Survivor," jostling them with a friendly elbow telling them it is time to "admit they have a problem." We may hear about a friend of a friend or someone on television who is struggling with addiction and shake our heads feeling sadness about the destructive need to "hit bottom," but it is still a concept about others rather than something we consider about ourselves. Think about the woman on the Dr. Phil show: if you asked her if she had a problem, what would she say? She would tell you her problem was her husband cheated. She would say he was her problem. But is he? Isn't her problem really that she can't let go of the fact that he cheated on her? </div>
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Bread crumb time. . .. </div>
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I first heard this from Andy Andrews, I have since seen it enough places that I'm not sure where the idea originated from, but the concept is "your best ideas got you where you are today." The advice is to look for mentors or experts who can give you other ideas because no one was looking to screw their lives up. No one actively pursues "how can I make my life as miserable and messed up as possible." It was their best thinking that got them to this place where they are unhappy. Now, if we consider the woman on Dr. Phil again, perhaps you can see why I begin to think this is so complicated rather than easy like Art does. Her best ideas got her to this miserable place where she can't let go of the fact that her husband cheated on her because then "he'll get away with it," but she also can't figure out how to punish him or what to do about him in order for her to stop feeling the pain. On some level, she knows this and she has gone to a mentor or expert, Dr. Phil; but she can't implement any of his advice because the two of them have not reached an agreement as to what exactly the problem is. </div>
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It's probably time for a small crouton here in the form of the definition of insanity. Albert Einstein once said "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Maybe it's just me, but I think if you can apply Einstein's definition to anything you yourself are doing??? You might want to go back to "admit you have a problem" although you still might have problems identifying what the problem is. Look at it this way, if you can apply the insanity definition to yourself, YOU are the problem. Not outside forces like your parents, your spouse or the government. It is something YOU are doing or, more likely, something you are thinking. </div>
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Bread crumb.</div>
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I'm sorry; I don't know who introduced this next notion to me. It could be Eckhart Tolle; it could be Wayne Dyer. When I heard it, I felt an awestruck realization of truth. The idea is: "what everyone who has had something bad happen to them in life - they've experienced abuse or a spouse cheating on them or rape or whatever bad thing you can think of - if the person has experienced it and just can't get over it or past it - what they really want is for the event to have never happened." I knew the truth of it. I knew that was actually how I personally felt about some of the more unfortunate events of my own life. But simultaneously, I also knew that it is absolutely crazy to want that. Insane. Because that is nearly the definition of the grammatical concept of the past tense. It HAS happened. Not "will" or "is," but "did." Done, over, and out. Oddly, the notion what I actually wanted was "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" or absolutely bonkers gave me an odd sort of relief. It gave me the freedom not to want it anymore. </div>
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We're nearly there, just a few bread crumbs left. </div>
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So here you are, stuck banging your head against this wall of an event that can never "unhappen" feeling miserable. You can't have what you want, but what do you have? Thank you Eckhart Tolle, you have "The Present Moment." All you have is this moment. Whatever that bad thing was, it isn't happening in this moment. The only thing that can drag that bad thing to this moment, is you; and there are so many better things you can do with this moment. In this moment, you can choose to listen to that mentor or expert and take the steps to effect a change in your life. In this moment, you can take stock of your surroundings and realize not only is the bad thing not here, but you are safe and blessed with comforts you previously never really noticed. In this moment, you can choose not to be a scared, sad victim. In this moment, you can choose life. </div>
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That might be enough. Maybe we don't need any more bread crumbs. But I have one and it's a good one. Perhaps it is the bread crumb that can lead you back to the present moment when the boogie men and gremlins from that past bad thing try to drag you back into its grip. Because it happened. It isn't going away and whatever mistrust you nursed into life or whatever survival skills you nutured as coping mechanisms; chances are they are here to stay as well. At least just a little bit. There is a sad but excellent chance you will not stay in the present moment, but will have to gently nudge yourself back here. So consider my bread crumb.</div>
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In Alan Ball's "American Beauty" there is a beautiful scene about an abused boy who finds beauty, spirituality and transcendence in a video he has made of a plastic bag being blown about by the wind. About the video, the boy says, "Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... I need to remember." I loved the scene from "American Beauty" and coveted a plastic bag moment of my own. Since one of the hats I frequently wear is that of a photographer, I have been nearly obsessed with capturing my own plastic bag moment on film. Only a week or two back, I realized I have been so numb and absent from the present moment that I already have had - I won't say "my plastic bag moment" because I don't think you need to be limited to just one - but I have had a plastic bag moment and captured it on film. </div>
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Several years back I went on a weekend vacation to Lancaster, California, to witness the Poppy Festival and California Poppies in the desert. On the way to Lancaster, I drove up the Grapevine and through Gorman, California. Some years, and I was lucky to have gone there during one of those years, for a brief few days the hills of Gorman are painted in color as if dropped right out of a painter's pigment jars. No artist could paint a scene as magical and fantastic as the one you see - live and in person - in front of you. I knew I was seeing one of the best things I had ever seen. </div>
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But wait a minute . . . . where's the bread crumb? </div>
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It's just this. Bad things happen. Bad things may happen to you. Nothing happens out of this "present moment." It happens, it is done and we may be many moments away from what happened. You can choose whether to ever think of it again. But you know what? Good things happen in this moment too. "Plastic bag moments." In one of my moments, I witnessed the beauty of Gorman, California and I can choose THAT to think of again. " . . . . it helps me remember. I need to remember."</div>
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A esteshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00433024820146321747noreply@blogger.com0